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Dave Karofsky's Quotations

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Karofsky's Quotations are the quotations made by David Karofsky, portrayed by Max Adler.

Season One

Oh, I've wanted to do that ever since fifth grade, when you made fun of me for getting pubes! Now that you've joined 'Lullaby League' and insperminated the Queen of the Chastity Ball and dropped below us hockey dudes on the food chain? It's open season!

Dave Karofsky (to Finn), Mash-Up

How do you spell loser? I'm going to write it on his forehead!

Dave Karofsky (to Finn), Mattress

Dave: Hey, Ms. Sylvester! Let's get physical!
Sue: Not really my type but I like that attitude.

Dave Karofsky and Sue, Bad Reputation

You dress all freaky and then you rub it everybody's faces. I don't want to look at it all day! It's weird; it makes my eyes tired.

Dave Karofsky, to Kurt Hummel, Theatricality

And you know what, Fancy? You don't need an appointment at Supercuts. They love walk-ins!

Dave Karofsky,to Kurt Hummel, Theatricality

Season Two

Dave: You want a piece of the Fury?
Kurt: "The Fury"?
Dave: That's what I named my fist.

Dave Karofsky to Kurt Hummel, Never Been Kissed

Kurt: Hey, you! I am talking you!
Dave: Girls' locker room is next door.
Kurt: What is your problem?
Dave: 'Scuse me?
Kurt: What are you so scared of?
Dave: Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?
Kurt: Oh yeah, every straight guy's nightmare -- that all us gays are out to secretly molest and convert you. Well guess what, Hamhock? You're not my type!
Dave: That right?
Kurt: Yeah. I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they're 30.
Dave: (holds up fist) Do not push me, Hummel.
Kurt: You gonna hit me? Do it.
Dave: (angrier) Don't push me!
Kurt: Hit me, 'cause it's not gonna change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!
Kurt: You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!
(Dave kisses Kurt)
(Dave whimpers and attempts another kiss, but Kurt shoves him away. He slaps the locker with both hands.)
Dave: URGH!
(Dave leaves sniffling, leaving Kurt shocked.)

Dave Karofsky and Kurt, Never Been Kissed

Is this your boyfriend, Kurt?

Dave Karofsky to Kurt about Blaine, Never Been Kissed

'Sup, Homo? (wink)

Dave Karofsky, The Substitute

Maybe he likes me.

Dave Karofsky (about why Kurt would make up bullying), Furt

Will: Let's put a little life into it.
Dave: But... we're dead.

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

It's gonna be awesome!

Dave Karofsky to the Hockey Team (describing the Thriller/Heads Will Roll performance), The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

This is high school. People's memories for good stuff lasts about as long as their Facebook status.

Dave Karofsky to Finn, The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

Why are you doing this?

Dave Karofsky to Santana, Born This Way

All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light. She showed me all these stories online about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn't believe someone could make another person feel that awful. But she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don't want to be anymore.

Dave Karofsky to New Directions, Born This Way

Remember... you wait for me here, alright?

—Dave Karofsky to Kurt, Prom Queen

I’m so freaking sorry, Kurt... I’m just... I’m so sorry for what I did to you.

Dave Karofsky (to Kurt), Prom Queen

Season Three

It's like you said on Valentine's Day. I made your life a living hell for months. But when the same thing happened to me, I couldn't even take it for a week.

Dave Karofsky to Kurt, On My Way

Kurt: You lean over your partner and you say...
Dave: I'm so happy right now.

Dave Karofsky to Kurt, On My Way

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