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Emma's Quotations

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Emma's Quotations are the quotations made by Emma Pillsbury, portrayed by Jayma Mays.
Emma GIF

Season One

I gave my number to a fireman... though he hasn't called.

Emma, Pilot


You know what? You need to remember, Rachel, to protect your heart. I don't care who he is. If he doesn't like you for the way you are, or if he's... you know, he's married with a baby on the way, that's not worth the heartache. You don't want to compromise... yourself... for that... (clears throat)

Emma to Rachel (looking at Will), Showmance


You caught me by sneak attack that time, it was like a pearly white harbor.

Emma, Hell-O


You're a slut, Will. You're a slut, you're a slut. Everyone should know that.

Emma, Bad Reputation


Oh I don't think I'm really comfortable with that.

Emma, Showmance


Emma: [hears Rachel throwing up] Rachel, did you just throw up?
Rachel: No.
Emma: You missed the toilet.
Rachel: The girl who was throwing up before me left that. I tried, but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: One day when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift. Let's have a little chat, okay!

Emma and Rachel, Showmance


They say it takes more certainty than talent to be a star. Look at John Stamos.

Emma, Acafellas


Will: Think we can win Regionals without Rachel?
Emma: Remember the Jamaican Bobsled team? Big longshots!

Will and Emma, The Rhodes Not Taken


Sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer, even if that peer is as annoying as Rachel.

Emma, Mattress


Kurt, I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.

Emma to Kurt, The Rhodes Not Taken


Terri, Will is a good man. He's kind and generous... and he deserves a lot better than you.

Emma to Terri, Vitamin D


Emma: Ken has convinced me we need to at least be in the same room when the marriage is certified.
Ken: What can I say? I'm a traditionalist.

Emma and Ken, Mash-Up


You've got a little mustard in your cute Kurt Douglas chin dimple.

Emma to Will, Vitamin D


Yes, sunglasses. They're like really, really cool. I'm always seeing, you know, celebrities wear them in, um, magazines, even at night, doesn't need to be day, very popular... Gives you a sense of mystery. You know, like rappers…

Emma to Quinn and Finn, Mash-Up


Well you can't blame her Will, if we were to rate crush worthy teachers in this school you'd be number one with a bullet.

Emma to Will, Ballad


Oh my God Sue, did somebody finally punch you?

Emma, Mattress


Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday.

Emma to Will, Mattress


Sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer, even if that peer is as annoying as Rachel.

Emma's advice to Will, Mattress


The wedding was gonna be in Hawaii but they told me I couldn't bring my own fruit.

Emma to Will, Mattress


We've got a problem. They're doing all our numbers - the kids are completely freaking out. Artie keeps ramming himself into the wall and I'm pretty sure Jacob will just wet himself.

Emma to Will, Sectionals


Will: But the wedding is on Saturday. Your wedding.
Emma: I know. We just pushed it back a few hours. Now it doesn't have to happen in broad daylight.

Emma to Will, Sectionals


Emma: I haven't been intimate in a very, very long time.
Will: How long?
Emma: Ever.

Emma and Will, Hell-O


Can you go now? I think I need to close the door and cry.

Emma to Will, Hell-O


Is there a reason why you're here? Because I'd kinda like it if you were gone by the time Will gets home!

Emma to Terri, Hell-O


I need to take control of myself and my body just like Madonna.

Emma to Will, The Power of Madonna


Apparently I lack a shred of sex appeal. Which is why I'm planning on doing the nasty with you tonight at your place. Foreplay begins promptly at 7:30.

Emma to Will, The Power of Madonna


Right, and it makes sense. Look at their [the girls in Glee Club] role models. You’ve got Britney Spears with her shaved head and Lindsay Lohan looking like something out of ‘Lord of the Rings’ … Ann Coulter.

Emma, The Power of Madonna


Some things are worth fighting for.

Emma to Will, Journey

Season Two

You look like a cast member of Kids Incorporated.

Emma to Will, Britney/Brittany


Emma: I admit, in the past, I may have had some control issues, but Carl's been helping me with that.
Will (annoyed): Oh, really? How?
Emma: Well, like the other day at the market, he made me buy the green grapes AND the red grapes. Then we put them together in the same bowl and just ate them. It was madness! Sheer madness!

Emma and Will, Britney/Brittany


God didn't let you touch Rachel's boobs. Rachel did.

Emma to Finn, Grilled Cheesus


You didn't hurt Sam. It was a 300-pound left tackle who just got expelled because he's on steroids and he's 23.

Emma to Finn, Grilled Cheesus


It always freaks me out to eat candy that someone else has touched.

Emma, The Rocky Horror Glee Show


Aren't there great songs about betrayal or something? I'm pretty sure there are some Eagles songs.

Emma to Rachel and Finn, Special Education


You're a constellation of stars. I just hate to think you might be ignoring some of them because they don't burn quite as bright.

Emma to Finn, Special Education


Rachel (to Finn): Do you think [Santana's] prettier than me?
Emma (quickly to Finn): Don't answer that!

Emma to Rachel and Finn, Special Education


Will: Is that an engagement ring?
Emma: It's a wedding ring, actually.

Emma to Will, Special Education


Will: Wait till you hear what I have planned for Sectionals!
Emma: Let me guess. Finn and Rachel are going to do a ballad, right? Followed by the kids joining in with a classic rock number where Mercedes will belt out the last jaw-dropping note.
Will: Have you been going through my desk?
Emma: It's what you always do.

Will and Emma, Special Education


Afternoon Delight is a dessert. It's made with coconut, pineapple, and marshmallow fluff.

Emma to Rachel, Sexy


We watch the Housewives shows, which are so, so racy.

Emma to Holly, Sexy

Season Three

So this is what being turned on feels like.

Emma, The Purple Piano Project


I will pretend like an ovarian cyst burst. Works every time.

Emma, Asian F


Emma: Kurt said that you two might need a little couples counseling.
Blaine: Are you qualified for that?
Emma: Not really. Or at all. But Sam and Mercedes came to talk to me, and you know, I think they found it pretty helpful.
Blaine: Yeah, I’m pretty sure they broke up.

Emma to Blaine, Dance With Somebody


I have O.C.D., I throw away a broom after I’ve used it once and you think I want to get married at a campground?

Emma to Will, Dance With Somebody

Season Four

So you thought that I’d just pop the champagne and follow you around like some obedient little puppy dog?

Emma to Will, The Break-Up


Will: I'm officially on the Blue Ribbon panel to improve arts education.
Emma: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Mr. Schuester goes to Washington!

Will and Emma, The Break-Up


I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.

Emma to Will, The Role You Were Born to Play


Will: If you were to write yourself a pamphlet, what would it be called?
Emma: 'So You're Freaking Out Because The Man You're Supposed to Marry Parades Back Into Town and You Don't Feel Like You Know Him Anymore.'

Emma and Will, Girls (and Boys) on Film.

Season Five

Will: We can't miss a prime week of baby-making time.
Emma: Well... We can if one has already been made. I'm pregnant.

Emma and Will, Trio

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