Jake's Quotations

Jake's Quotations are the quotations made by Jake Puckerman, portrayed by Jacob Artist.

Season Four

“	Will: I wanted to talk to you about your audition. Jake: Do you have any idea how hard I worked on that song? I was up for three nights getting it right and you didn't even let me finish. Will: Glee club performs in front of hundreds of people. Some of them might boo you. You gonna throw a mic stand at them? Jake: So I'm angry. I got a right to be. You don't know me. You don't know my life.	”
—Will and Jake, The New Rachel

“	Will: I know your brother, Jake. Puckerman. Jake: Half-brother. Our dad's like an NBA player, there could be 50 other Puckermans running around Ohio.	”
—Will and Jake, The New Rachel

“	I get it. Now that you know I'm related to your boy I'm good enough for your stupid club?	”
—Jake to Will, The New Rachel

“	I'm protesting that class on religious grounds. They make you dissect the pig and I'm kosher.	”
—Jake to Will about Mr. McCarthy's physiology class, Britney 2.0

“	Jake: Glee club is so lame. What does Shyster have you guys singing? Marley: It's Britney Spears week. Jake: Yeah, see, I prefer music that uses actual instruments.	”
—Jake and Marley, Britney 2.0

“	Jake: What song is it? Marley: "You drive me crazy." Jake: I know I do.	”
—Jake and Marley, Britney 2.0

“	Jake: This is garbage. Those guys suck and I'm the one being dragged to see Figgins? Will: I'm not taking you to see Figgins. Puck: He's taking you to see me.	”
—Jake, Will and Puck after Jake's fight with Phil and Bobby, Britney 2.0

“	You look more like dad than I do.	”
—Jake to Puck, Britney 2.0

“	I get these feelings sometimes to punch someone or steal a cop car or kiss someone, and I hear Glee club might help them go away.	”
—Jake to Marley, Britney 2.0

“	I cannot believe you got this part over me.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Glease

“	Let me ask you a question. What kind of a name is Ryder Lynn anyway? 'Cause it sounds like your parents named you after a cowgirl doll who comes with her own pony.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Dynamic Duets

“	Okay, let's be honest. I don't like you, you don't like me, and dressing up in a cape and tights not gonna change that.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Dynamic Duets

“	Ryder: Mega Stud won't complain. Jake: Hold-hold on. Did you seriously just call yourself "Mega Stud"? Ryder: It's my alter ego. Jake: So your superhero choice is to be me?	”
—Ryder and Jake, Dynamic Duets

“	Jake: My whole life, I've never felt like I fit in. Not anywhere. Ryder: Why? Jake: I'm half white, half black, half Jewish. And just in case I forget... someone always reminds me.	”
—Jake and Ryder, Dynamic Duets

“	What are you supposed to do when you really like a girl, but you didn't know it at first, then you sort of blew your shot with her, and now this other dude's really into her who you used to think was a total poser, but turns out he's actually a really cool guy who totally has your back, and you know you'll be a world-class d-bag if you jump in now and try to break them up?	”
—Jake asking Puck for advice, Dynamic Duets

“	Jake: Last Friday... I kind of went out with Marley. Ryder: Kind of? Jake: I mean, we didn't actually go anywhere, we just kind of hung out and played SongPop and Bad Piggies all night.	”
—Jake and Ryder, Thanksgiving

“	Marley's different. She's special.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Thanksgiving

“	Are you dancing or impersonating a horny epileptic?	”
—Jake to Ryder about his dancing, Thanksgiving

“	Dude, it's Korean, Just sing gibberish. Who cares?	”
—Jake to Ryder about singing Gangnam Style, Thanksgiving

“	Some things you can't overthink, okay? You just got to let it come natural. "Gangnam Style" isn't about technique, it's about just letting yourself go.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Thanksgiving

“	Ryder: I thought you said you didn't have any moves. Jake: You asked me not to take everything from you and I respect that. Plus, it's kind of embarrassing that I'm trained in ballet.	”
—Ryder and Jake, Thanksgiving

“	You... you want me to ride all the way to California in a sidecar?	”
—Jake to Puck, Glee, Actually

“	We're a family, okay? A pretty messed up one, but still a family.	”
—Jake to Puck, Tanisha Puckerman and Mrs. Puckerman, Glee, Actually

“	Puck: Young guys like you think you have to hit a home run every time. But as long as you're getting on base, you're always in position to score. Jake: No, you don't understand. I'm not even getting on base. And all of a sudden, Kitty's inviting me to Home Run Derby.	”
—Puck and Jake, Sadie Hawkins

“	Jake: I am awesome. I mean, I always knew I was pretty cool but tonight is the first night I realized how awesome I was. Marley: Why is that? Jake: Because you are the most amazing person I've ever met. And, somehow, I convinced you to be into me. You're incredible. I'm done. I don't... I don't want to be with anybody else. All I need is you.	”
—Jake and Marley, Sadie Hawkins

“	When I get a text saying "Emergency. Meet me in the auditorium," I assume that you're on fire, or being attacked by a pack of monkeys.	”
—Jake to Marley, Naked

“	Jake: You name arms after guns, not shoulders. Ryder: Shoulders are part of your arms. Jake: No, they aren't. They're part of your shoulders.	”
—Jake and Ryder, Naked

“	I am a statue.	”
—Jake during his muscle "fight" with Ryder, Naked

“	Dude, you want to know the weirdest thing? If a girl in the next room is into me, I can feel it. But since I've been seeing Marley, it's like there's not another girl in the planet.	”
—Jake to Ryder, Naked

“	Ryder: It's a heart pendant from the jeweler at the mall. It's pretty but it's not too expensive so she won't think you stole it. Jake: I'm going to ignore the subtly racist overtones of that comment because you are my hero.	”
—Ryder and Jake, I Do

“	She's not like other girls, okay? I think I'm in love with her, and I think she's finally letting her guard down enough to love me back. I promised you I wouldn't hurt her. Right? Well I keep my promises. Especially to friends who are putting whatever feelings they're having aside to make something special happen.	”
—Jake to Ryder about Marley, I Do

“	Because it's me and you against the world.	”
—Jake to Marley, Feud

“	Marley: You know, I have a guilty pleasure I haven't told you about. Jake: Please don't say me, 'cause that would be very cheesy.	”
—Marley and Jake, Guilty Pleasures

Season Five

“	Blaine: Black John Lennon. Jake: Half black.	”
—Blaine and Jake, Love Love Love

“	Blaine: And by single we just mean single prom dates. Jake: Yes, so you can pick one and it's your choice. Obviously, I'm excluded.	”
—Blaine and Jake to Tina, Love Love Love

“	I miss you. Every minute of every day. And I know that I screwed things up with you really badly, and I'm sorry. I know what I lost and I know that I can't be without you. I need you. I don't want to be this jerk anymore, and you are the only one who could make me a better person. A good person.	”
—Jake to Marley, Puppet Master

“	This is not how the story was supposed to end.	”
—Jake, City of Angels