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Glee's Big Gay Summer

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JBIBGS

Glee's Big Gay Summer is the series of interviews with the New Directions members in Audition, the first episode of Season Two. The interviews are being held by Jacob. He interviews all Glee Club members (including Will) except for Artie and Mercedes.

Some questions and comments are either offensive or unreasonable, so some of the interviewees are left annoyed or confused, like Puck or Will.

Jacob films every interview he makes with the Glee Club members. Presumably, he posts it on his blog, giving the people who watch his blog some exclusive information. The interviews end with Kurt being slushied and taunted. 

Glee's Big Gay Summer opens up Season Two, it recaps on all that happened in Season One, and establishes some relationships (e.g. Finn and Rachel, Mike and Tina).

Interviews

With Rachel and Finn

Jacob: Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with?
Finn: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
Rachel: We've been dating all summer.
Finn: Rachel's what you'd call a controllist.
Rachel: I...I'm controlling. (To Finn) "Controllist" isn't a word.
Finn: Oh.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Finn: Yes...
(Rachel looks angry.)
Finn: That was out loud, wasn't it?


Jacob: When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire?

With Will

Jacob: Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?
Will: Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock...
Jacob: (to camera) 100% gay.


Jacob: Did you know there's a forum on blog that's begging you to stop rapping?
Will: Wait, kids don't like it when I rap?
(Jacob shakes his head.)


Jacob: When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Land's End?

With Puck

Jacob: Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.
Puck: It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Jacob: Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? (Puck blocks the camera's view.)

With Quinn

Jacob: How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child?
Quinn: Well, I'm happy to be back, and I'm ready to start fresh. And ... I'm a lot less hormonal, so...so there's not really any more crying.


Jacob: What did you do with all that breast milk?

With Santana and Brittany

Jacob: How was your summer?
(Jacob stares at Santana's boobs.)
Santana: My eyes are up here, Jew fro. And it was uneventful.
Brittany: People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.

With Mike and Tina

Jacob: What can you say about the rumors the two of you're dating?
Tina: Because we're both Asians? That's racist.
Mike: Totally racist.
(Tina and Mike walk off, hold hands together.)
Jacob: (To cameraman) Did you get that? Did you get that?
Jacob: (To audience) You saw it here first.


Jacob: How exactly do you get the white out of rice?

With Kurt

Jacob: When will you glee clubbers...
Kurt: I don't know.
Jacob: ...accept the fact that people hate you...
Kurt: Kiss it, Jacob.
Jacob: ...and think you're nothing but a glorified...
Kurt: Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?


Kurt: You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers and log on to the Internet and start tearing people down, does it? But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say to my face.
(Kurt is slushied by Azimio.)
Azimio: Welcome back, lady!
(Azimio goes away.)
Kurt: I don’t suppose there’s any way you could just cut out the last part, is there?
(Jacob shakes his head.)

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