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I'm the Greatest Star

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This article is about Kurt's version. You may be looking for Rachel's version.
I'm the Greatest Star
Album: Glee: The Music, The Complete Season Three
Released: September 27, 2011
By: Cast of Funny Girl
Sung by: Kurt Hummel
Place: The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion
Episode: I Am Unicorn

I'm the Greatest Star from Funny Girl, is featured in I Am Unicorn, the second episode of Season Three. It is sung by Kurt Hummel as his audition piece for William McKinley High School's production of West Side Story


I got 36 expressions!
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more than all them Barrymores put together

Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot!
'Cause their scared that I got...such a gift?
Well, I'm miffed

Cause I'm
The Greatest Star
I am by far!
But no one knows it—wait-they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute (ah ooh ah ooh)
They'll cheer each toot (Hey, that kid is terrific, mmm)
When I expose it (Now can't ya see to look at me that)

I'm a natural Camille.
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer
(Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because)
I'm a natural cougher (ahoo, aheh, ahay)

Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent
Laugh! (ha ha ha ha)
They'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes (Stick around for the jokes!)
A thousand faces
I reiterate
When you're gifted, then you're gifted
These are facts
I've got no axe to grind
Hey..., whaddaya blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star

No autographs, please.
Ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever?
I should say not.
Any minute now they're gonna be out.
Then it'll be my turn

Who is the pip with pizzazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamourous as?
Who's an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty NOSE!!!
And ten American beauty toes?
Eye on the target and what
One shot; One gun shot and BAM!
Hey, Mister Keeney!
Here I am!

I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
That's why I was born
I'll blow my horn
Till someone blows in
I gotta break the lights
Gotta flash of light
I'll flicker then flare up!
All the world's gonna stare up!
Looking down, you'll never see me,
Try the sky cause that'll be me!

I can make 'em cry!
I can make 'em sigh!
Someday, they'll clamor for my drama
Have you guessed yet?
Who's the best yet?

If you ain't I'll tell ya one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!


  • Kurt uses sai swords, and Chris Colfer seems to be very skilled at it. It was later said that Chris actually wanted to use them in an episode.


  • When Kurt sings, "Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because I'm a natural cougher," he climbs the ladder twice.



Glee - I'm The Greatest Star (DOWNLOAD MP3)(04:11)
Geoff109Added by Geoff109
Santana99Added by Santana99
Glee-I'm The Greatest Star (Full Performance)(03:21)
PanndaAdded by Pannda


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