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|I Am Unicorn|
|Season Three, Episode Two|
|First Aired||September 27, 2011|
"The Purple Piano Project"
West Side Story is this year's school musical at McKinley as revealed in the season premiere. Some New Directions members prep up for their auditions for specific parts of the music, Rachel wanting the role of Maria and Kurt and Blaine wanting Tony. Kurt knows that the directors of the musical will choose Blaine since he is more masculine and Kurt is rather feminine, making Kurt re-think his audition plans. Along with the musical preparations, Brittany attempts to assist Kurt with his class presidency campaign, promoting his pride of being gay but Kurt isn't too sure about the idea. Will creates a weekly Booty Camp with Mike to help various members of Glee Club to practice dancing for future competitions, and Shelby returns to McKinley as a teacher which shakes up a few relationships.
Kurt and Brittany discuss Kurt's class presidency campaign. Brittany offers her assistance, to which Kurt accepts. Over in the choir room, Will tells New Directions of Vocal Adrenaline's fate. Dustin Goolsby has been fired due to coming in second place at Nationals. Due to Vocal Adrenaline having no permanent director, they are now quite vulnerable, so Will organizes weekly "Booty Camps" with Mike's assistance. Finn, Puck, Mercedes, and Kurt are told to attend the mandatory meetings, while Blaine requests that he also attend so he can catch up with New Directions. Rachel voices her concern about the musical and Will brings in Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Beiste, who will direct the play in Will's place along with a student director - Artie.
Meanwhile, Shelby appears at McKinley due to a donation by Al Motta, so she can form another glee club within the school, which would feature his talentless daughter Sugar. Shelby discusses her return with Will who is worried that her return will traumatize Rachel. Shelby assures Will that she's not here to do so and is here to make things right and Will welcomes Shelby with open arms. Shelby reveals to him that she has been hired to direct a second show choir at McKinley, which Will welcomes with open arms to support the arts.
Quinn and the Skanks bully a girl for her lunch money in the toilets, giving her a swirly before she finally gives in. Eventually Sue walks in and discusses current events with Quinn. Sue enlists Quinn's help with making a video in order to show what show choir really does to teenagers. She stops Quinn from lighting a cigarette in the process and warns her that "smoking kills."Kurt and Brittany prepare Kurt's campaign with Brittany suggesting unicorns as the theme but Kurt believes them to be too "gay" for him and wants something understated. Brittany also prepares a surprise for Kurt: "Kurt Hummel's bulging pink fun sack."
Puck speaks with Quinn in the hallway before dragging her into a classroom where Shelby is sitting. They discuss Beth, Shelby offering for Quinn and Puck to be a part of Beth's life. However, she is not willing for that to happen as long as Quinn is in her "Skank" bad-girl state, to which Quinn replies that as many papers that Shelby has, she will always be Beth's mother and Shelby will never be that,
New Directions then has their first Booty Camp lesson as Mike teaches the group basic moves. Meanwhile Kurt and Blaine discuss the auditions and the roles they wish to audition for; Kurt wants to audition for Tony. Blaine then lists songs he will be using for auditions, leading Kurt to believe that Blaine is also auditioning for Tony, which makes him a bit nervous. It is then revealed that Blaine is a junior and he won't be auditioning for Tony as he believes that the lead role should go to a senior.
Rachel practices for her audition before Shelby appears and suggests Somewhere to Rachel. Rachel practices the number along with Shelby as the scene changes to Rachel's audition. Meanwhile, Quinn and Sue make their video; Sue follows Quinn around as she shows how her life has changed for the worse, eventually leading her to Will's office. While in Will's office, Quinn blames Will and show choir for how her life has gone downhill. Will argues back and reminds her the Glee Club was there to help her in her worst moments and tells her to grow up. Quinn storms out along, and Sue has conveniently ruined the recording by 'accident'. She leaves, while Becky admits that Will's anger was sexy.
Kurt auditions for the role of Tony with his version of I'm The Greatest Star by Barbra Streisand. After assuring everyone he's got permission from Rachel, he launches into his performance with the help of scaffolding his father built and a pair of sai he twirls towards the end, wowing the judges.Puck shows up at Shelby's house and requests to see Beth. After proving he's clean with a drug test, Beth begins to cry so Shelby allows Puck to see her. Puck shows a picture of a clown-pig that he drew for Beth, and Shelby allows them to bond.
Back at WMHS the directors discuss the performers with Kurt secretly listening in. Coach Beiste wants to cast Rachel as Maria, but Emma wants to wait for Mercedes to audition which Beiste agrees with. Soon attention turns to Kurt's audition for Tony. While Coach Beiste commends Kurt's performance, she doesn't feel that he's ideal to play the part of the leader of a street gang. Emma argues that she believes he can handle it, reminding them that Tony is a former gang leader. The two turn to Artie to break the deadlock, given that he knows Kurt best. Artie admits that, while a fan of non-traditional casting, he feels that Kurt is 'too delicate' for the part of Tony. Kurt, hearing all this, becomes dejected knowing his application to NYADA will be affected by this decision.
Meanwhile Puck tells Quinn that he saw Beth and that she should see her too. As he walks around the school dejected, Kurt finds his campaign posters on the walls, only they're the bright pink unicorn posters that Brittany wanted rather than the understated ones Kurt suggested. After tearing them down he confronts Brittany, who is with Santana. Kurt and Brittany argue before Kurt leaves, grabbing Rachel asking her to help him re-audition for Tony. Santana encourages and comforts Brittany, saying she really is a unicorn and she's proud of her.
In the auditorium, Kurt appears on stage wearing a period costume explaining that he wants to re-audition for Tony but this time to show off his acting skills as opposed to his singing. In order to do that, he and Rachel perform a scene from Romeo and Juliet. However this goes badly, as Kurt's attempt to appear masculine only manages to drive everyone to laughter (even Rachel). Kurt is upset by this and runs off.
Sugar and Shelby practice singing, but Sugar doesn't improve, saying she's better than Shelby. Sugar leaves, tired of practicing and then Quinn walks into the classroom. Quinn and Shelby discuss Beth. Quinn wants to see Beth, but Shelby won't allow her to do so in her current state. However, Shelby tells Quinn that in the past (with Rachel) she went through the same phase. She dyed her hair and got a tattoo as well. Quinn requests a picture of Beth, and Shelby shows Quinn a picture of Puck and Beth cuddling on her phone. Quinn breaks down crying in front of Shelby.
Meanwhile, Rachel and Finn discuss life as Rachel assists Finn with fixing a car while Kurt discusses musicals with Burt at Burt's auto shop. Kurt worries that he will only be cast as gay (or female) characters unless he can pretend to be straight. Burt tells Kurt that he shouldn't be let down about being gay and that that's who he is.
Mike, Will, and Finn practice their dance moves at Booty Camp before Quinn appears and asks to return to Glee Club. Puck tells Quinn he's glad to have her back and is proud of her, but Quinn explains she'll do anything to get Beth back, even if that means dying her hair blonde and pretending to be the same girl as before to fill the role. She tells him that "we're" getting full custody, leaving Puck looking shocked and worried.
Will, Emma, Sue, and Beiste discuss Quinn's return to New Directions. Sue already knows and decides to spin this saying that Quinn has 'relapsed' back into her addiction. Sue is up 9 points in the polls, officially moving into in first place. When she leaves, Will, Emma, and Beiste discuss this alarming turn of events and they know that they need to stop Sue from getting into office. However it seems that the only way to do this is to have someone run against her: the anti-Sue.In the hallways, Kurt puts new posters of himself up, very similar to those Brittany designed, reflecting who he is. Brittany walks up and they discuss the poll. Brittany announces her candidacy with Santana assisting her and refers to herself as a 'bi-corn'. Kurt is shocked, but the two wish each other luck anyway.
Blaine then auditions for a supporting role in the musical with Something's Coming, as Kurt secretly watches with a proud smile on his face. The directors are very pleased by his performance (Beiste even sheds a tear), but Artie is surprised, upon checking Blaine's audition form, to see that Blaine is only interested in the roles of Bernardo or Officer Krupke. Artie asks if Blaine would be interested in auditioning for Tony. Blaine looks surprised and conflicted and Kurt leaves the auditorium upset, knowing that Blaine would be almost certain to get the part if he agrees.
|Song Title||Original Artist||Performer(s)|
|Somewhere||Cast of West Side Story||Rachel Berry and Shelby Corcoran|
|I'm the Greatest Star||Cast of Funny Girl|
|Something's Coming||Cast of West Side Story|
Special Guest Star
- Mike O'Malley as Burt Hummel
- Iqbal Theba as Principal Figgins
- Dot Jones as Shannon Beiste
- Lauren Potter as Becky Jackson
- Vanessa Lengies as Sugar Motta
- Rick Pasqualone as Al Motta
- Courtney Ann Galiano as The Mack
- Mary Gillis as Mrs. Hagberg
- Raven Goodwin as Sheila
- Lora Plattner as Sophomore
- Jolene Purdy as Ronnie
- Samantha and Isabel Kahle as Beth Corcoran
- Blaine is revealed to be a junior, and not a senior like it was established in Silly Love Songs, during the first Booty Camp scene.
- Brad Falchuk and Dianna Agron drew the "clown pig" picture Puck gave to Beth.
- Rachel wants to audition with the song I Feel Pretty because she says that she is awesome when singing this song. She sang a mash-up of this song with Quinn in Born This Way, called I Feel Pretty/Unpretty.
- Will calls students (Puck, Kurt, and Mercedes) by their surnames for the first time (he has referred to Puck as "Puckerman" before, but not said it to his face until this episode).
- Puck is wearing the same shirt that he wore when he sang Beth while he visits Beth Corcoran in this episode. This is most likely a coincidence, but it could be for sentimental reasons.
- Chris Colfer said in an interview  that he was really good at Sai Swords, and he does a routine with these during I'm the Greatest Star.
- The only second episode (until Season Five's and Season Six's one) of a season in which a controversial performance by the New Directions is not performed for the school at an assembly. The other second episodes had Push It, Toxic, and Gimme More.
- While talking to his dad, Kurt mentions Kate Hudson, who later on appears as Cassandra July, Rachel's dance teacher.
- When Kurt confronts Brittany about the posters, he's throwing the poster he holds at Santana and Brittany. When he leaves with Rachel, he is holding the poster again.
- When Shelby is talking to Puck and Quinn, she mentions something about giving Rachel up for adoption, and speaks as if she had lived with Rachel when she was a baby. However, this is definitely a continuity error, as in Pilot, Rachel says that her dads chose a woman for her IQ and beauty (Shelby) and hired her to gestate Rachel with the sperm of one of them, which implies that Shelby never could have given Rachel up for adoption, as she was not her child in the first place.
- Throughout the entire episode, Quinn's earring repeatedly disappears and reappears.
- During parts of Booty Camp, you can see Matthew's tattoo on his lower back.
First a few demands. I need thrift store couches under the bleachers. I've realized that after smoking all day it hurts to stand.
I love my happy happy unicorn!
First step to becoming an adult: stop punishing yourself for things you did when you were a child.
I really want to give you a standing ovation.