Jacob's Quotations are quotes said by Jacob Ben Israel, portrayed by Josh Sussman.
Season One[]
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But how do you keep from... arriving early? Whenever I grind... Cinco de Mayo. |
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Rachel: You wanna know a dirty little secret none of them want you to know? Girls want sex just as much as guys do. |
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Now show me your over the shoulder boulder holder. |
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—Jacob to Rachel, The Rhodes Not Taken |
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The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in school. |
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I feel the urge to kiss you. I'm just gonna go for it. |
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These still have the tags on them. I want Rachel Berry panties. |
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Finn: Is it cool if I take my spot back? |
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Season Two[]
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So how DO you get the white on rice? |
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Jacob: Will Schuester. How do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your Glee Club song selections sound like they come from a drag queen’s iPod? |
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How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child? |
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(Noticing Santana's Breast Enhancement): How was YOUR summer? |
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Did you know that there’s a forum on my blog that’s begging you to stop rapping? |
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When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Land’s End? |
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When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire? |
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What did you do with all that breast milk? |
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What do you want for her? I'll give you anything!I'll give you my house! I'll kill my parents and give you my house. |
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—Jacob to Finn (about Rachel), Britney/Brittany |
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Technology has allowed us to be brutally cruel without suffering any consequences. In the past, if I wanted to tell someone they sucked, I’d have to say it to their face. |
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—Jacob, A Night of Neglect |
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My curly hair in Cairo twitter account helped bring down Mubarak. Technology has allowed us to be brutally cruel without suffering any consequences. |
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—Jacob, A Night of Neglect |