Jake's Quotations are the quotations made by Jake Puckerman, portrayed by Jacob Artist.

Season Four

Will: I wanted to talk to you about your audition.
Jake: Do you have any idea how hard I worked on that song? I was up for three nights getting it right and you didn't even let me finish.
Will: Glee club performs in front of hundreds of people. Some of them might boo you. You gonna throw a mic stand at them?
Jake: So I'm angry. I got a right to be. You don't know me. You don't know my life.

Will and Jake, The New Rachel

Will: I know your brother, Jake. Puckerman.
Jake: Half-brother. Our dad's like an NBA player, there could be 50 other Puckermans running around Ohio.

Will and Jake, The New Rachel

I get it. Now that you know I'm related to your boy I'm good enough for your stupid club?

Jake to Will, The New Rachel

I'm protesting that class on religious grounds. They make you dissect the pig and I'm kosher.

Jake to Will about Mr. McCarthy's physiology class, Britney 2.0

Jake: Glee club is so lame. What does Shyster have you guys singing?
Marley: It's Britney Spears week.
Jake: Yeah, see, I prefer music that uses actual instruments.

Jake and Marley, Britney 2.0

Jake: What song is it?
Marley: "You drive me crazy."
Jake: I know I do.

Jake and Marley, Britney 2.0

Jake: This is garbage. Those guys suck and I'm the one being dragged to see Figgins?
Will: I'm not taking you to see Figgins.
Puck: He's taking you to see me.

Jake, Will and Puck after Jake's fight with Phil and Bobby, Britney 2.0

You look more like dad than I do.

Jake to Puck, Britney 2.0

I get these feelings sometimes to punch someone or steal a cop car or kiss someone, and I hear Glee club might help them go away.

Jake to Marley, Britney 2.0

I cannot believe you got this part over me.

Jake to Ryder, Glease

Let me ask you a question. What kind of a name is Ryder Lynn anyway? 'Cause it sounds like your parents named you after a cowgirl doll who comes with her own pony.

Jake to Ryder, Dynamic Duets

Okay, let's be honest. I don't like you, you don't like me, and dressing up in a cape and tights not gonna change that.

Jake to Ryder, Dynamic Duets

Ryder: Mega Stud won't complain.
Jake: Hold-hold on. Did you seriously just call yourself "Mega Stud"?
Ryder: It's my alter ego.
Jake: So your superhero choice is to be me?

Ryder and Jake, Dynamic Duets

Jake: My whole life, I've never felt like I fit in. Not anywhere.
Ryder: Why?
Jake: I'm half white, half black, half Jewish. And just in case I forget... someone always reminds me.

Jake and Ryder, Dynamic Duets

What are you supposed to do when you really like a girl, but you didn't know it at first, then you sort of blew your shot with her, and now this other dude's really into her who you used to think was a total poser, but turns out he's actually a really cool guy who totally has your back, and you know you'll be a world-class d-bag if you jump in now and try to break them up?

Jake asking Puck for advice, Dynamic Duets

Jake: Last Friday... I kind of went out with Marley.
Ryder: Kind of?
Jake: I mean, we didn't actually go anywhere, we just kind of hung out and played SongPop and Bad Piggies all night.

Jake and Ryder, Thanksgiving

Marley's different. She's special.

Jake to Ryder, Thanksgiving

Are you dancing or impersonating a horny epileptic?

Jake to Ryder about his dancing, Thanksgiving

Dude, it's Korean, Just sing gibberish. Who cares?

Jake to Ryder about singing Gangnam Style, Thanksgiving

Some things you can't overthink, okay? You just got to let it come natural. "Gangnam Style" isn't about technique, it's about just letting yourself go.

Jake to Ryder, Thanksgiving

Ryder: I thought you said you didn't have any moves.
Jake: You asked me not to take everything from you and I respect that. Plus, it's kind of embarrassing that I'm trained in ballet.

Ryder and Jake, Thanksgiving

You... you want me to ride all the way to California in a sidecar?

Jake to Puck, Glee, Actually

We're a family, okay? A pretty messed up one, but still a family.

Jake to Puck, Tanisha Puckerman and Mrs. Puckerman, Glee, Actually

Puck: Young guys like you think you have to hit a home run every time. But as long as you're getting on base, you're always in position to score.
Jake: No, you don't understand. I'm not even getting on base. And all of a sudden, Kitty's inviting me to Home Run Derby.

Puck and Jake, Sadie Hawkins

Jake: I am awesome. I mean, I always knew I was pretty cool but tonight is the first night I realized how awesome I was.
Marley: Why is that?
Jake: Because you are the most amazing person I've ever met. And, somehow, I convinced you to be into me. You're incredible. I'm done. I don't... I don't want to be with anybody else. All I need is you.

Jake and Marley, Sadie Hawkins

When I get a text saying "Emergency. Meet me in the auditorium," I assume that you're on fire, or being attacked by a pack of monkeys.

Jake to Marley, Naked

Jake: You name arms after guns, not shoulders.
Ryder: Shoulders are part of your arms.
Jake: No, they aren't. They're part of your shoulders.

Jake and Ryder, Naked

I am a statue.

Jake during his muscle "fight" with Ryder, Naked

Dude, you want to know the weirdest thing? If a girl in the next room is into me, I can feel it. But since I've been seeing Marley, it's like there's not another girl in the planet.

Jake to Ryder, Naked

Ryder: It's a heart pendant from the jeweler at the mall. It's pretty but it's not too expensive so she won't think you stole it.
Jake: I'm going to ignore the subtly racist overtones of that comment because you are my hero.

Ryder and Jake, I Do

She's not like other girls, okay? I think I'm in love with her, and I think she's finally letting her guard down enough to love me back. I promised you I wouldn't hurt her. Right? Well I keep my promises. Especially to friends who are putting whatever feelings they're having aside to make something special happen.

Jake to Ryder about Marley, I Do

Because it's me and you against the world.

Jake to Marley, Feud

Marley: You know, I have a guilty pleasure I haven't told you about.
Jake: Please don't say me, 'cause that would be very cheesy.

Marley and Jake, Guilty Pleasures

Season Five

Blaine: Black John Lennon.
Jake: Half black.

Blaine and Jake, Love Love Love

Blaine: And by single we just mean single prom dates.
Jake: Yes, so you can pick one and it's your choice. Obviously, I'm excluded.

Blaine and Jake to Tina, Love Love Love

I miss you. Every minute of every day. And I know that I screwed things up with you really badly, and I'm sorry. I know what I lost and I know that I can't be without you. I need you. I don't want to be this jerk anymore, and you are the only one who could make me a better person. A good person.

Jake to Marley, Puppet Master

This is not how the story was supposed to end.

Jake, City of Angels

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