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Jesse's Quotations

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Jesse's Quotations are the quotations made by Jesse St. James, portrayed by Jonathan Groff.

Season One

Jesse: [tugging down at Rachel's songbook] Lionel Richie, huh? One of my favorites.
Rachel: Oh my God. You're Jesse St. James. You're in Vocal Adrenaline.
Jesse: And you're Rachel Berry. I saw you perform at Sectionals. Your rendition of 'Don't Rain on My Parade' was flawed. You totally lacked Barbra's emotional depth. But... you're talented.

Jesse and Rachel, Hell-O

I'm getting a full ride to the University of California Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.

Jesse, Hell-O

I like to do impromptu concerts for the homeless - it's so important to give back.

Jesse to Rachel, Hell-O

I remember when I used to get nervous...

Jesse, Hell-O

You know me as Jesse, the Star of Vocal Adrenaline, your competition at Regionals. I want to introduce you to Jesse, the guy who's nuts about you, the guy who would never hurt you.

Jesse to Rachel, Hell-O

I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting place because only he would be able to express my melancholia.

Jesse, The Power of Madonna

Okay, Finn; I know we have a big showdown coming, so let’s just decide on the arena. Sing-off, the parking lot, five o'clock. Be there.

Jesse to Finn, The Power of Madonna

Rachel: I don't understand why you're doing this.
Jesse: Because when you love something, you've got to go for it. You'd never be with me completely if I was on the opposing team and I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline for you.

Rachel and Jesse, The Power of Madonna

Just come out so we can talk... or sing about it.

Jesse to Rachel, The Power of Madonna

You guys need to stop being such asses and start being badasses.

Jesse to New Directions, Bad Reputation

This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking.

Jesse, Bad Reputation

Well, thats the funny thing about reputations. Everyone thinks I'm the big heartbreaker, but the fact of the matter is...(whispering) you broke mine first. Do me a favor. If we end up nest to each other on the bar at ballet club this week, just do your arabesques and piques in silence. Don't talk to me.

Jesse to Rachel, Bad Reputation

Jesse: [watching Rachel] Hi.
Rachel: [stops dancing after seeing Jesse] Hi. How was your spring break?
Jesse: Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?
Rachel: A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm gonna play three parts in Broadway: Evita, "Funny Girl" and Laurey in "Oklahoma!." I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.
Jesse: That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd is not a fantasy. It's an inevitability.
Rachel: [hugging Jesse] I thought you'd never come back.
Jesse: And miss all your drama? Never.

Jesse and Rachel, Dream On

I think I kinda like her, I don't want her to get hurt.

Jesse to Shelby, Dream On

Rachel: [as Jesse stands in front of her with an egg in his hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.
Jesse: I loved you. [breaks the egg in Rachel's hair].

Jesse and Rachel, Funk

Jesse: [Shocked] They did a funk number. [To Giselle who's sitting next to him] We've never been able to pull off a funk number.
Giselle: Well, that's because we're soulless automatons.
Jesse: I'm so depressed.

Jesse and Giselle after New Directions performed Give up the Funk, Funk

Season Two

Jesse: It's good to see you again, Rachel.
Rachel: Jesse... what are you doing here?
Jesse: I mean, how I was supposed to know that I was actually supposed to show to those other classes in school? I was majoring in show choir. I just assumed it would be like in Carmel and the school would get some Asian kid to take Math, English and scientific for me.
Rachel: That's awful.
Jesse: I came back to see you, Rachel. What I did to you... It's my one great regret.
Rachel: Yeah... It was kinda weird. One day you're telling me you loved me, and you were inexplicably throwing eggs at my head the next.
Jesse: I know, I know. I traded love for a fourth consecutive National championship. It was a bum deal. For a first maybe but for a fourth, no way. I've come to make amends. So... what are you doing for prom?

Jesse and Rachel, Prom Queen

They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.

Jesse, Prom Queen

Finn: Hey, Jesse. What'd you order, scrambled eggs? I mean, I know you usually like them served on people's heads.
Jesse: Quinn, you look stunning. The ghost of Grace Kelly. Let me know if you get tired of your boyfriend stomping on your pretty little feet all night. I'd be more than happy to cut in.

Jesse and Finn, Prom Queen

Finn: [pushes Jesse off Rachel] Hey! Dude, keep it PG.
Jesse: Dude, it's none of YB, your business.
Finn: Well this is my school so it is my business.
Jesse: It isn't your girlfriend so beat it, MJ.

Jesse and Finn, Prom Queen

I don't think I need to do much tricking to make you do something stupid, Finn.

Jesse to Finn, Funeral

You do know that song was meant to be sung by a woman, right?

Jesse to Kurt after Kurt finishes singing Some People, Funeral

You're not a star, you're just a girl who can really sing.

Jesse to Mercedes after Mercedes finishes singing Try a Little Tenderness, Funeral

Usually at this point, the reality show would go to commercial and we would take a five minute break to regroup and get touch ups done on our make-up so I'm going to hit the little boys room. [puts a hand on Mr. Schuester's shoulder] You're doing a great job, though. I really think you should comment more. Don't be shy!

Jesse, Funeral

Jesse: Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?
Rachel: Not really.
Jesse: [looks disappointed] Oh.

Jesse and Rachel, Funeral

That's sweet, you remembered the masculine click of my designer boots.

Jesse to Rachel, Funeral

Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a performance? They use them as a prop, like Weekend At Bernie's.

Jesse, Funeral

Finn, I think it's the best if you sit this one out. Fact is that most the other guys here are better singers and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.

Jesse to Finn, Funeral

Well, that’s what my parents told me in front of my siblings. Sure, some might say it led to my brother’s “Whip It” addiction and my sister’s bulimia, but my parents owed them the truth.

Jesse to Will, Funeral

Jesse: [sits next to Mr. Schuester] I couldn't stay away.
Mr. Schue: From the show, or her?

Jesse and Will, New York

That kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges won't like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and will cost you Nationals. Hi Rachel, you look amazing and you sounded great. You just shouldn't have kissed him.

Jesse to Finn and Rachel, New York

Season Three

The star of Vocal Adrenaline is Vocal Adrenaline. You don't like it? There's the fricking door!

Jesse to the members of Vocal Adrenaline, Saturday Night Glee-ver

Wow. Look who Will Schuester sent to spy on me. The laziest person alive and the pasty faced ghost boy.

Jesse to Mercedes and Kurt, Saturday Night Glee-ver

Rachel's the most talented person I've ever met, bar none. If anyone's gonna be a star someday, it's her. She'd make an excellent contribution to NYADA. You won't regret it. I promise.

Jesse to Carmen, Nationals

Rachel: Are you forgetting who you are Jesse? Your 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was, like, the benchmark performance of every show choir competition in the past ten years.
Jesse: Most people don’t realize I lost ten pounds during that performance.

Jesse and Rachel, Nationals

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