Kitty's Quotations are the quotations made by Kitty Wilde, portrayed by Becca Tobin.
Season Four[]
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Kitty: My iced latte is too cold. |
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—Kitty to Kurt, The New Rachel |
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We could handle gimpy and the tarantula head and Richie Poor because you guys were national champs like us, but our invitation was not extended to pre-op Precious based on the novel Barf by Sapphire, and Mike and Molly's daughter, as part of our crew. |
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—Kitty to the New Directions, The New Rachel |
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I bet it looks better on me. |
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—Kitty to Jake and Marley about Jake's jacket, Britney 2.0 |
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We're dating now. Didn't Jake tell you? |
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—Kitty to Marley about her relationship with Jake, Britney 2.0 |
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Y'all are sinners, and you'd better get right with God tout-de-suite because Jesus just logged onto Orbitz and booked himself a plane ticket back to Earth. See, he's got an awesome dad named God who's throwing him a bitchin' party called Armageddon, where he's gonna get to kick off his sandals, dance a little bit, and judge the crap out of everybody. |
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—Kitty to the Left Behind Club, The Break-Up |
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Heard they're opening up a new Ronald Mcdonald House in Lima, just for you and your Finger-licking, Lard-loving, Gilbert Grape-looking mama. |
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—Kitty to Marley, The Break-Up |
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You do not want to break up with me, okay? I am like a bad Carrie Underwood song once I get going. |
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—Kitty to Jake, The Break-Up |
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You're both gonna regret this turn of events because I will tell you one more thing: Obama's gonna lose. |
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—Kitty to Jake and Marley, The Break-Up |
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Jake: Who wants to have Justin Bieber hair?. |
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Patty Simcox?! Who the hell is Patty Simcox?! |
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—Kitty after finding out her role in Grease, The Role You Were Born to Play |
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Shut it, Avatar! |
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Well, Spray Tan, Hawk Nose, to quote Shakespeare, "There's no small parts, only fat actresses." |
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I'm confused... Are you playing the lead in Grease or Hairspray? |
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These are called fingers. Just stick them in your pie hole and Bingo! |
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Kitty: Jesus is the only almighty superhero. |
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—Kitty and Joe, Dynamic Duets |
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Kitty: Every day I ask myself 'What would Quinn Fabray do?' |
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—Kitty and Quinn, Thanksgiving |
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I realize Marley’s super sweet, and I’m sure you have great conversations when you share milkshakes down at the drive-in about how you both love President Eisenhower, but good luck getting past first base with that girl. |
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Kitty: Look, I usually avoid dating Jewish guys, on account that you people are killing ma Jesus. I was willing to make an exception because of your biceps but I'm gonna end this little experiment in religious tolerance if you don't stop dancing like an idiot. |
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—Kitty and Puck, Sadie Hawkins |
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If you’re done dancing like you lost your leg in a motorcycle accident, why don’t we go back to my car and have at each other in the backseat? |
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—Kitty to Puck, Sadie Hawkins |
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Those Twilight books were poop on paper and we've turned them into a million dollar business. |
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Joe: I'd be willing to cut off some of my hair to earn some extra cash. |
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Nothing's scarier than a girl with a penis. |
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—Kitty to Unique, Guilty Pleasures |
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Read my lips because we know you can't read words. |
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—Kitty to Ryder, Shooting Star |
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Now excuse me because just thinking about me and you dating makes me dryer than the cast of Hot in Cleveland. |
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—Kitty to Ryder, Shooting Star |
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Marley, when we were doing Grease I took in all of your costumes so that you'd you think you were fat. |
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—Kitty to Marley, Shooting Star |
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Please, nobody wants to hear a song about a fat mom, or a song about barfing, or a song about loving a octoroon. |
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—Kitty about Marley's original songs, Sweet Dreams |
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I don't know why I have such terrible luck with guys. It's probably because I come on really strong and pretend to be all slutty, and then I freeze up right away and get distant and drop weird hints that my vagina has teeth. |
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—Kitty to Ryder, Lights Out |
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I understand what it feels like to have something like that happen to you and feel like nobody understands. I guess I just wanted you to know that... I do. |
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—Kitty to Ryder, Lights Out |
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Have you learned you new lyrics yet 'do you want fries with thaaaat? |
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—Kitty to Mercedes, Wonder-ful |
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Nobody is going to admit it for fear of being murdered. |
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—Kitty about Ryder demanding who Catfish is, All or Nothing |
Season Five[]
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And for the record, and not that it's anyone's business, especially not yours, Tina Cohen-Agitator, I did wanna keep it 'hush-hush'. |
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—Kitty to Tina, Love Love Love |
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Yes Memoirs of a Lame Geisha. |
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—Kitty to Tina, Love Love Love |
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Yes, we are officially, publicly, shockingly... a thing. |
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—Kitty to Artie, Love Love Love |
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Artie: This Katy/Gaga lesson is killing me. It's like Mr. Shue did it on purpose to keep us apart. |
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—Kitty and Artie, A Katy or A Gaga |
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All right you basic bitches! |
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Do you want us to call a wambulance? Coz your pitty party is out of control. |
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—Kitty to Blaine, Puppet Master |
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Marley: Okay, I was just trying to be nice. |
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Marley: I'm a virgin! |
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Kitty: Shocker. The virgin Marley gets to play the Virgin Mary. Aren't you worried about typecasting? |
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Virgin in the house, bitches! |
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Unique: Unique will not be standing in the back swaying while you guys go all Three-yoncé in the spotlight. |
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