Lauren's Quotations

Lauren's Quotations are the quotations made by Lauren Zizes, portrayed by Ashley Fink.

Season One[]

“	Have a seat, boy hips.	”
—Lauren to Rachel, Hell-O

“	I know how torn you must be, Berry.	”
—Lauren to Rachel, Hell-O

“	It's gonna cost you mallomars for me and snicker bars for my workers, take it or leave it Berry.	”
—Lauren to Rachel

“	This is so gonna get Robert Pattinson's attention!	”
—Lauren Zizes, Theatricality

“	I want to be that hot! Mr. Schue let me be your Britney! Mr. Schue I want to be your wife!	”
—Lauren during New Directions' performance of Toxic, Britney/Brittany

“	I think I've a fever.	”
—Lauren, to Sue Sylvester, The Substitute

“	Puck: Are you an angel? Lauren: Screw you.	”
—Lauren and Puck, Special Education

“	Here are my conditions: a carton of Cadbury eggs - good luck finding them, they're not in season - and I want seven minutes in heaven with you.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Special Education

“	Best green room ever.	”
—Lauren Zizes, Special Education

“	Lauren: I'm not nervous, you know why? Puck: Why? Lauren: Because show choir is stupid.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Special Education

“	I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox... I would also like sweet potato fries.	”
—Lauren's Christmas wish, A Very Glee Christmas

“	Sue: I'm going to stop you right there! Why are you wearing that hat? Lauren: Because it's Christmas, and it's fun. Sue: No, it's offensive. You're wearing a Santa Claus hat, and yet you're not handing me any gifts. I need gifts. Lauren: You want my hat? Sue: It's a start.	”
—Lauren and Sue, A Very Glee Christmas

“	Rachel: We thought about that. But the truth is that you guys only need us to play. You just need enough players out there to fill a regulation team. So when they snack the ball, we're just gonna lay down on the ground, just gonna lay there. Lauren: Well, I'm not. I'm gonna bring the pain.	”
—Rachel and Lauren, to Finn, Puck, Artie, Mike, Sam, Will and Coach Beiste, The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

“	Lauren: Look at me again and I'll break your nuts, and also the candies you gave me they sucked. Puck: But you ate all of them. Lauren: I had to make sure they all sucked.	”
—Lauren and Puck, Silly Love Songs

“	Santana: Oh please. You guys love me, I keep it real and I'm hilarious. Lauren: Actually you're just a bitch.	”
—Santana and Lauren, Silly Love Songs

“	I spell woman Z-I-Z-E-S, and I need to be wooed. You understand me? Wooed.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Silly Love Songs

“	That was the first time anyone ever sang me a love song... and it made me feel like crap.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Silly Love Songs

“	I don't think you're ready for this jelly.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Silly Love Songs

“	If I was a country, my flag would be a big fist giving the rest of the world a finger, and [ I Know What Boys Like ] would be my national anthem.	”
—Lauren Zizes, Comeback

“	Who told you that hairstyle was cool? Geronimo?	”
—Lauren to Puck, Blame It on the Alcohol

“	Santana: Oh My God Brittany's pregnant! Tina: Oh My God Brittany's pregnant! Puck: It was only a matter of time. Lauren: For what? Puck: Brittany to get pregnant. Lauren (to Artie): OH CONGRATULATIONS! Artie: For what? Lauren: Haven't you heard? Your girlfriend's preggo! You're gonna be a baby daddy!!	”
—Santana ,Tina , Puck, Lauren and Artie, Sexy

“	I want to be like a Kardashian. I want a TV show, and a fragrance. It'll be called Zizes, and the slogan will be: You just got Zized.	”
—Lauren to Puck, Sexy

“	Puckerman, you're on a roll.	”
—Lauren, to Puck, Original Song

“	Lauren: Hey, Mercedes! Can I have your shoes? I promise to give a dirty pair of my flipflops in return. Mercedes: Do you know how hard it is to find yellow high top patent leather sneakers?	”
—Lauren, to Mercedes, A Night of Neglect

“	I feel like a lemon meringue pie.	”
—Lauren to Kurt, Brittany and Tina, Prom Queen

“	The Glee Club is not in my cool factor and I can't withstand it, all right?. My rep is in free-fall. Oh, don't be sad. Would always have "Subway."	”
—Lauren to Puck, after break up with him, The Purple Piano Project

“	We're not flowers, we're losers.	”
—Lauren to Coach Beiste, Sadie Hawkins