Doris:
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Why did I wander to find what lies yonder
When life was so cozy at home?

Doris and Sue:
Wondering while I wonder
Why did I fly?
Why did I roam?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (Sue: You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go

Sue:
Home...

Dorris:
O-H-I-O

Doris and Sue:
Maybe I'd (Sue: You'd) better go home

Sue:
Mother, this song still doesn't explain why you abandoned your children

Doris:
Ohio was stifling, and we couldn't wait to get out of the place
And I told you, "Sue, we're going to be hunting Nazis"

Sue:
And Pop said, "Sue, this might take a little while"

Doris:
Well, those Nazis are slippery, and me hunting them way down in Lima, Peru

Sue:
And we'd get postcards from Niagara Falls

Doris:
Well, I'm stalking Mengele in Bolivian malls

Sue:
Three times a year we'd get crackling phone calls!

Doris:
Happy birthday

Sue:
"Hunting Nazis!"

Doris:
Merry Christmas

Sue:
"Hunting Nazis!"

Doris:
Homesick

Sue:
Abandoned

Dorris:
Heartsick

Sue:
Neglected!

Doris and Sue:
Thank heavens we're free!
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (Sue: You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better stay
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