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Rachel's Quotations are quotations made by Rachel Berry, portrayed by Lea Michele.

Retro Rachel

Season One

You might think that all the boys at school would totally want to tap this, but my MySpace schedule keeps me way too busy to date.

Rachel, Pilot


You may laugh because every time I sign my name I put a gold star after it, but it's a metaphor, and metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor for ME being a star.

Rachel, Pilot


Rachel's Voiceover: And just so we're clear, I want to clear up that hateful rumor that I was the one who turned that closet case, Sandy Ryerson, in because he gave Hank Saunders the solo I deserved! That's cockpoopy.

[Cut to]

Rachel: [stage sobbing] He was touching Hank! Caressing him!! It was SO WRONG!!

Rachel, Pilot


We suck.

Rachel (about Glee Club's performance), Pilot


Nowadays being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture today, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that nobody's just going to hand it to you.

Rachel, Pilot


Look, I know what I'm talking about! I won my first dance competition when I was three months old!

Rachel (to Glee Club), Pilot


I think the rest of the team expects us to become an item. You, the hot, male lead, and me, the stunning, young ingenue everyone roots for.

Rachel to Finn, Pilot



Rachel: Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?

Artie: I think Mr. Shue's using irony to enhance the performance.

Rachel: There's nothing ironic about show choir!

Rachel and Artie to Mr. Schuester, Pilot


You're very talented. I should know, I'm very talented too.

Rachel to Finn, -Pilot


Rachel: Everybody hates me.

Mr. Schuester: And you think being in Glee Club is going to change that?

Rachel: Being great at something is going to change it. Being a part of something special makes you special, right?

Pilot


Finn: Look, I owe you guys an apology. I never should have quit. I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people!

Rachel: That was you?

Pilot


Mr. Schuester: You're performing this song in front of the whole school at the assembly Friday.

Kurt: They're gonna throw fruit at us. And I JUST had a facial.

Rachel: I'll press charges if that happens!

Showmance


Mr. Schuester isn’t coming. I paid a Freshman to ask him for help with irregular verbs.

Rachel, -Showmance


Rachel: I tried, but I guess I don't have a gag reflex.

Emma: When you're older that will turn out to be a gift.

—-Showmance


Have you ever liked somebody so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music, and cry?

Rachel, to Ms. Pillsbury, -Showmance


Girls want sex just as much as guys do!

Rachel, Showmance


Can I use the auditorium later to practice? Our neighbors are filing a lawsuit.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, -Showmance


Finn was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally challenged friends. I was immediately concerned about his lack of self esteem and made a creative, pre-emptive strike.

Rachel to Principal Figgins, Showmance


Your heart's on the other side of your chest.

Rachel to Finn, Showmance


Rachel: You know, you can kiss me if you want to.

Finn: I want to.

Rachel and Finn, -Showmance


It's not my bladder, Mr. Shue.

Rachel to Mr. Shue, Acafellas


I have the confidence to say that what we had in the auditorium was real. You just don't have the guts to admit it.

Rachel to Finn, Acafellas


Our point is that you’re fired. And I’m taller than you.

Rachel to Dakota Stanley, -Acafellas


I thought I made it very clear that anything from West Side Story goes to me.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Preggers


I'm still getting my lipstick flushed down the toilet. I still don't have a boyfriend. Tina's great, but why should you have to hurt me to make her feel good?

Rachel to Mr. Shue, Preggers


Finn: Do you know what we should do?

Rachel: Elope?

Finn: What?

Rachel: Nothing.

The Rhodes Not Taken


Wait, she’s in the Glee Club? She’s ancient.

Rachel (about April), -The Rhodes Not Taken


Do I have to put my fingers in the holes? Couldn’t there be diseases in there or something?

Rachel to Finn, The Rhodes Not Taken


Rachel: This is really good pizza. (While she's eating pepperoni pizza, either showing that she is not a vegan until later in the season, or completely contradicting her vegan diet)

Finn: Yeah I think they import the pepperoni from Canada or something.

The Rhodes Not Taken


Yes, you’ve heard right, I am returning to Glee Club. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice.

Rachel, The Rhodes Not Taken


You’re actually a good singer, Quinn. Occasionally sharp, but that’s just because you lack my years of training.

Rachel to Quinn, -Vitamin D


Thank you so much, it really is a pleasure. While the boys chose a selection of songs that cast an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today’s modern teens, we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks to the nation as a whole during these troubling times of economic uncertainty and unbridled social woe, because if there’s two things America needs right now it’s sunshine and optimism...Also angels.

Rachel introduces the girl's mash-up, Vitamin D


It's deplorable, contemptable, and it's just plain wrong. It's also cheating. As a matter of fact, I'm going to start calling you F-Rod!

Rachel to Finn, Vitamin D


We were just taking a lesson from Major League Baseball. It's not cheating if everyone does it.

Rachel to Finn, Vitamin D


Quinn: Listen here, treasure trail. We're about to have a smack-down.

Rachel: I don't want to have a confrontation.

Quinn: Don't play stupid with me, Stubbles. I'm having Finn's baby and you need to back off! I'm asking you as nice as I possibly can. Leave him alone.

Rachel: You're right. I-I've helped you not because it's the right thing to do, but because I had romantic ulterior motives. But just so we're clear, you're the one who's cheating.

Quinn: Excuse me?

Rachel: I have on good authority that you're Sue Sylvester's mole and you can deny it all you want, but I know it's true.

Quinn: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Rachel: Sue's not on your side, Quinn; she's not on anyone's side but her own. Can you imagine what she's going to do when she finds out about your situation? She'll probably rip off your uniform with her bare hands.

Rachel: All right. Every time you whisper in her ear you empower her to do more damage to the Glee Club. And right now, Glee Club is all you have. And if I were you, I'd recognise who my true friends are. And I'd practice a little more because you obviously have a lot you need to express.

Quinn: Oh,you have no idea.

Throwdown


It's Glee Club, not Crunk Club.

Rachel, Throwdown


Fellow Glee Clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm-out is done. I encourage you to follow my lead.

Rachel, Throwdown


I can’t give myself to someone who isn’t — brave enough to sing a solo. If you don’t have the guts to do that, th-then how are you going to be bold enough to deal with the ups and downs of loving an admittedly high-maintenance girl?

Rachel to Puck, Mash-Up


Mr. Schuester: Think you can handle it, Rachel?

Rachel: It’s my go-to shower song. It’s also my ringtone.

—-Wheels


My family is fully committed to take-out.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Wheels


Maybe one of these days you'll find a way to create "teaching moments" without ruining my life.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Wheels


Are you the manager? You need to hire my friend Finn. He is clearly handi-capable and refusing to hire him could be seen as discrimination. My dads are gay. And unless you want the full force of the American Civil Liberties Union coming down on you, I’d work something out.

Rachel, Wheels


I've never noticed this before because he's always trying to destroy my career, but Mr. Schue has really pretty eyes.

Rachel, Ballad


Mr. Schuester: Ok guys, Sectionals is in a few weeks. Now there's a new rule this year that says that competing groups must perform a Ballad.

Rachel: Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee FINALLY paid off.

Ballad


Ok, this is amazing. When I'm singing with him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. And what I'm seeing is super, super cute.

Rachel (voiceover about Mr. Schuester), Ballad


I insist on only being shot from my left side.

Rachel, Mattress


I can cry on demand.

Rachel, Mattress


School pictures are everything to me. They're great practice for the paparazzi.

Rachel, -Mattress


I've never told you guys this before, but I'm a little psychic.

Rachel, -Sectionals


Mercedes: Look Rachel, the truth is, you're the best singer we've got.

Kurt: As much that it hurts me to admit it, and it does... she's right. Rachel is our star. If anyone is gonna go belt it on the fly, it should be her.

Rachel: Well, I do have something that I've been working on since I was four.

Sectionals


I'm so sorry. I fully understand if you want to beat me up. Just avoid my nose.

Rachel to Quinn, -Sectionals


It will be the kind of heartbreak that girls like me hold for the rest of their lives. Like Barbra in "The Way We Were."

Rachel, Hell-O


We know our Romeo and Juliet romance will be an issue. But our true respect for each other's talent will carry us through.

Rachel describes her relationship with Jesse to Finn, Hell-O


I'll tell you who you are. You’re a scared little boy. You’re afraid of dating me because you think it might hurt your reputation, though which you’d never admit it is very important to you. You hate what Quinn did to you not just because it hurt but because it’s so humiliating. I just see you for who you are, unlike you who could only see me as this silly girl who made a fool out of herself in our first glee club rehearsal. And that’s where you lose, Finn. Because if you take a second look at me, you would realize that I’m the only person in your life who knows you and accepts you for who you are no matter what.

Rachel to Finn, Hell-O


I know being my boyfriend is a challenge. I'm not Quinn. I'm not pretty like her, I'm not popular and my personality, though exciting and full of surprises, isn't exactly low-maintenance.

Rachel to Finn, Hell-O


Who's there? I carry a rape whistle!

—Rachel, -Hell-O


And didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing ski-ball.

—Rachel, -The Power of Madonna


Puck: Jesse will never fully know what it means like to be a Jew.

Rachel: I'm ironically turned on by your bad boy image, but let's keep this professional.

Bad Reputation


In this age of celebrity sex tapes, a good reputation does no good at all.

Rachel to Artie, Bad Reputation


Hold on to your hat! Because Rachel Berry is going to become musically promiscuous.

Rachel (to Artie), Bad Reputation


I have chosen Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" because it's about overcoming obstacles and beating the odds. In my case, the obstacle is YOU: my lackluster teammates who refuse to carry their own weight.

Rachel to Glee Club, Laryngitis



[Finn sees Rachel in the hallway in her pajamas and carrying a bowl of oatmeal.]

Finn: Are you, like, sleepwalking?
Rachel: You need to be able to sleep in order to sleepwalk.

Finn and Rachel, Laryngitis



I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live!

Rachel, Laryngitis


I don't want my mom to just be some teenage mess-up like Quinn!

Rachel, Dream On


Rachel: I came in first place.

Jesse: You were eight months old.

Rachel: I was very musically verbal.

Dream On


Do you wanna hear my research that proves my mother is Bernadette Peters?

Rachel to Jesse, Dream On


What if she's singing on it? What if she's terrible? Or worse, what if she's better than me?

Rachel to Jesse about hearing her mom singing, Dream On


Miss Corcoran? My name is Rachel Berry. I'm your daughter.

Rachel (to Shelby), Theatricality


Will: Funk. Use it in a sentence... Come on. Rachel?

Rachel: This cheese smells funky.

Puck: That's cause it's fromunda cheese.

Rachel: Shut it, Puckerman!

Funk


I want him to be eaten by a lion.

Rachel, Funk


Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.

Rachel to Jesse, Funk


Now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mother's of the little baby chicks coming at me for revenge.

Rachel, Funk


We don't care what the judges say: we won. Because we had you as a teacher.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Journey


Rachel: Break a leg.
Finn: I love you.

Rachel and Finn, Journey


(At the beginning of this year.....)

I was getting slushied.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Journey

Season Two

Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?

Rachel (to Jacob), Audition


I didn't send her to an active crackhouse...

Rachel, Audition


Finn: Rachel is what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Controlist isn't a word.

—Getting interviewed by Jacob, Audition


Rachel: Oh hello! I couldn't help but notice you admiring me yesterday in the courtyard.
Sunshine: Um, what?
Rachel: Oh you don't speak English. YOU-LIKE-ME-SING! YOU-LIKE-ME-SING-VERY-MUCH!
Sunshine: Um, I totally speak English.
Rachel: I even did a little research on you. You are a foreign exchange student named Sunshine Corazon because you are from the Philippines where it's sunny every day!
Sunshine: Except for the monsoons.
Rachel: Listen Sunshine, we need chorus members; people to stand behind me and stare at me with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. (loudly) So I encourage you to audition for Glee Club! Glee club is FUN! SWAYING in the background can be fun!
Sunshine: Thank you.
Rachel: Okay.

Rachel and Sunshine, Audition


Argh, I don't understand, I floss between classes!

Rachel seeing her teeth in the mirror, Britney/Brittany


Let's face it Finn. The only way this relationship is going to work is if we're BOTH losers.

Rachel to Finn, Britney/Brittany


Finn: How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore
Rachel: I kinda like it. Now I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma

Finn and Rachel, Britney/Brittany


I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, Britney/Brittany


I always thought the boys locker room would be all sexy, but actually, it smells like feet in here.

Rachel to Finn, Britney/Brittany


Finn: You're upset about Kurt's dad too?
Rachel: Yes, but more importantly, let's discuss your newfound love for Jesus and how it's affecting ME.

Rachel and Finn, Grilled Cheesus


I need to know that my children will be free to worship in the way that I decide is right.

Rachel to Finn, Grilled Cheesus


Okay, that doesn't make any sense, in fact it's stupid

Rachel, Grilled Cheesus


I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me.

Rachel to Finn, Duets


Being the It Couple is harder than I thought.

Rachel to Finn, Duets


Please be Evita, Please be Evita.

Rachel before hearing what the school musical was, The Rocky Horror Glee Show


I don’t look like Brittany or Santana, but you still think I look hot right?

Rachel to Finn, The Rocky Horror Glee Show


Mr. Shue, while I admire your choice of the ground-breaking 70s musical, aren’t you worried that the adult themes might be a point of controversy?

Rachel, The Rocky Horror Glee Show


SPIES!!!

Rachel, Never Been Kissed


Holly: Hey Rachel!

Rachel: Hello, Ms. Holiday. I'd like you know that I have a very severe bruise on my right buttocks from your game of gangsta rap musical chairs. I'll be going on record with the school nurse later today.

Holly Holiday and Rachel, The Substitute


At least I didn't fall and break my talent.

Rachel, The Substitute


We would never forgive ourselves if something happened to Kurt.

Rachel to Glee Girls, Furt


My dads went to couples counseling because one of them put up wallpaper in the den without asking the other and they said it was the only thing that kept them from killing each other.

Rachel to Finn and Ms. Pillsbury, Special Education


Puck: Are you okay?

Rachel: Why are you talking to me? Are you gonna steal something from me?

Puck and Rachel, Special Education


(Rachel walks in to Glee with her mouth taped)

Mr. Schuester: Rachel, what are you doing?

Rachel: I’m not doing anything. You silence my talent. I’m merely protesting.

Rachel and Will Schuester, Special Education


As a therapist, is it productive for me to slap him right now?

Rachel to Ms. Pillsbury about Finn, Special Education


Mr. Schuester, not that I care, but if we don't leave now we'll miss the competition.

Rachel to Will, Special Education


I'm very specific when I give a gift. You don't know how many kittens I gave away because they just weren't right.

Rachel to Finn, A Very Glee Christmas


Whether it's a heart attack or heartbreak, just like Broadway, the show must go on.

Rachel, A Very Glee Christmas


Last year for Christmas, I asked Santa to give me you.

Rachel to Finn, A Very Glee Christmas


Rachel: Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?

Kurt: No.

Rachel: I do. Finn throwing himself into the grave out of grief and all of the heartfelt speeches and regrets.

Kurt: That's insane.

Rachel: Clearly, no one in the Glee Club appreciates me. Is it so wrong for me to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I am, but it being too late?

Rachel and Kurt, Special Education


As offended as I am by their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance.

Rachel to Mr. Schuester, The Sue Sylvester Shuffle


LET'S KICK SOME ASS!

Rachel, The Sue Sylvester Shuffle


Maybe you're right, maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you're going to have is working on a pole!

Rachel to Santana, Silly Love Songs


Rachel: She's prettier than me.

Finn: Would you stop? ... You're beautiful.

Rachel and Finn, Silly Love Songs


Brittany: What is that look called?

Rachel: Sexy school girl librarian chic.

Brittany and Rachel, Comeback


As our team leader and arbiter of all that is good, I must say: I don't think that song is good enough for regionals.

Rachel, Comeback


Finn: It's not emotional or good or...

Rachel: It sucks.

Finn: Yeah.

Finn and Rachel, Blame It on the Alcohol


Brittany! Remember, no sitting on anything!

Rachel, Blame It on the Alcohol


It tastes like pink! IT TASTES LIKE PINK! PINK!!!!!!

Rachel after she gets drunk the first time, Blame It on the Alcohol


Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna rock your world!

Rachel to Blaine, Blame It on the Alcohol


Your face tastes awesome.

Rachel to Blaine, Blame It on the Alcohol


Mr. Schue... First of all that vest is very cute... you are all kinds of awesome.

Rachel to Will Schuester, Blame It on the Alcohol


Have I ever told you how awesome you are?

Rachel to Mike, Blame It on the Alcohol


I did expect a little snog as the evening was drawing to a close. But I guess the timing wasn't right.

Rachel to Kurt, Blame It on the Alcohol


Being thrown up on, it just does something to a person.

Rachel, Blame It on the Alcohol


Who cares about you, buddy? I might get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally, and in the future give me vaguely Eurasian looking children.

Rachel to Kurt, Blame It on the Alcohol


(About being rejected by Blaine) Kurt: That was hard wasn't it? Rachel: Are you kidding? That was amazing. I am speechless. I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay, that is songwriting gold!

Rachel and Kurt, Blame It on the Alcohol


Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava. Brava.

Rachel to Santana, Brittany, and Holly Holliday, Sexy


I'm perfectly capable of accessing my pain. I cry every time I sing a solo.

Rachel to Finn, Original Song


You gave your baby to my mom...we kind of bonded over it, right?

Rachel to Quinn, Original Song


Listen carefully because, I mean every word of it.

Rachel to Finn, Original Song


You know, it's... It's funny. I've won a lot of trophies before for singing competitions and dancing competitions, but I've always felt like the girl who never gets the brass ring. And maybe I never will. But today and at Regionals, the way you guys believed in me and... took a chance with me... All I've ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen, and I just, um... I wanted to thank you guys so much for giving me that.

Rachel to the New Directions, Original Song


You are a terrible spy.

Rachel to Sunshine Corazon, A Night of Neglect


Are you saying you want to be carried in in a giant egg?

Rachel to Mercedes, A Night of Neglect


Why did you bring me here? Is there a sale at Claire's?

Rachel to Puck, Born This Way


Let's do Run, Joey, Run!

Rachel after Mr. Schue tells the glee club they're performing at prom, Prom Queen


When I'm done rehearsing, I'd like your feedback. Tell me if I was brilliant or simply outstanding.

Rachel to A/V Club, Prom Queen


Rachel: [checking her cheek] Most girls would be upset about getting slapped in the face, but…I happen to appreciate the drama of it. [gets a paper towel]
Quinn: [leans against the sink] I know you think it's hard to be you, Rachel, but at least you don't have to be terrified all of the time.
Rachel: What are you so scared of? [offers a paper towel to Quinn]
Quinn: [takes the paper towel] The future. When all this is gone.
Rachel: Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. You're the prettiest girl I've met Quinn but...you're a lot more than that.

Rachel and Quinn, Prom Queen


I made it.

Rachel, New York


The guy did seem crazy, he charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack.

Rachel, New York


Rachel: Santana? Oh! Shoving your fingers down your throat like the rest of your brainwashed Vocal Adrenaline brothers & sisters?
Sunshine: I'm not throwing up on purpose.

Rachel to Sunshine in "New York"


Sunshine: I used to love singing.It was the only thing that relaxes me. Now I hate it.
Rachel:Do you think I'm an idiot?
Sunshine: No! I think you're kinda mean but I don't think you're stupid.
Rachel: I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage.
Sunshine: What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school, I heard that the Glee club was where kids went when no one else would take them, a safe place, for some reasons, you made me the only one who wasn't safe there.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Sunshine: To the Philippine Embassy. I'm going to beg them to revoke my visa and deport me back home.That's the only way I'm gonna be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline.
Rachel: Jus... wai.. wait. It's because you're good. That's why I hated you, that's why I've sent you to that crack house. I'm Sorry. But you have to go out there and sing. You have a gift! Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for
Sunshine: I can't. I'm gonna barf all over the stage.
Rachel: If you feel like you're gonna throw up, just look at me and I'll help you through it
Sunshine: Why? Don't you wanna win?
Rachel: Guys like us have to stick together.I'm going to hug you now

Rachel to Sunshine in "New York"

Season Three

You know, you make me want to be your boyfriend.

Rachel to Kurt, "The Purple Piano Project"


Mr. Schue, I'm flattered, but Barbra was 40 when she directed herself in Yentl, so it's, it's too soon

Rachel to Mr. Schue, "I Am Unicorn"


You can't cancel the musical! I was considering changing my name to Maria!

Rachel, "Pot o' Gold"




Kurt: I'm gonna lose unless I pull a JFK.
Rachel: You're gonna shoot Brittany?!?

Rachel and Kurt, "I Kissed a Girl"


Quinn : I thought you weren't allowed here.
Rachel : I'm permitted on school grounds as long as I'm getting my work.

Quinn and Rachel, "Hold on to Sixteen


Finn: That's not an image I can ever get out of my mind.
Rachel: Give me a dollar.
Finn:What?
Rachel: Just give me a dollar.

Rachel and Finn, when seeing Sam perform at a strip club, "Hold on to Sixteen"


You're good at it because you have that boy next door innocence that makes you approachable, okay? You're good at it for all the reasons that you shouldn't be doing it.

Rachel to Sam, "Hold on to Sixteen"


Well my suspension is officially over, it'll still be on my transcript though. I'm just hoping that the admissions department at NYADA will see it as a sign of my artistic rebellious attitude.

Rachel to Quinn, "Hold on to Sixteen"


All I want for Christmas is you, too; and five things on that list.

Rachel to Finn, "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"


Rachel: I heard you were having trouble finding me a Christmas present.
Finn: Who told you that? was it Kurt?
Rachel: No.
Kurt: (walking by) Yes.

  • Rachel gasps*

Rachel,Finn, and Kurt, "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"


Rachel: Where's my bling?

Rachel to Finn, "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"


Kurt: Rachel! Rachel! I got my NYADA letter!
Rachel: You did?
Kurt: I'm a finalist! I'm a finalist!
Rachel: You did? That's so great!
Kurt:What did yours say?
Rachel: I didn't get one.
Kurt: Oh, that doesn't mean anything, it just means they haven't sent it yet.
Rachel: I didn't even make it to the finals. (Starts to cry)
Rachel: I knew it. I had this weird feeling in my stomach all week long.
Kurt:Rachel, don't be stupid-
Rachel:Stupid!? Stupid is, watching all your friends make plans for their futures and realising that you have none at all. No plans. No college. Nowhere to go. All I have here is my boyfriend and, and I have no idea what I'm doing!
Kurt:(Whispers)Here, come here.-

  • Kurt holds Rachel while she sobs.

Rachel and Kurt, "Michael"


Rachel: You're the love of my life. And, I may not get to have it all but, at least I'll have what matters if we're together.
Finn: Is that a-
Rachel: Yes.
Finn: Yes?
Rachel: Yes, I will marry you.

Rachel and Finn, "Michael"


Rachel: * Taps Kurt on the shoulder, shows him letter*
Kurt: Is, is that the...
Rachel: My NYADA letter finally came in the mail and er, and I'm a finalist. I'm a finalist, I'm a finalist!
Kurt: Oh congrats!
Rachel: Thank you.

Rachel and Kurt, "Michael"


Rachel: We're finally getting married.
Puck: When is the baby due?

Rachel and Puck to New Directions, "On My Way"


Rachel: I wanna get married. Now.
Finn: I have Gym.

Rachel and Finn, "On My Way"


Rachel: You're my hero, you know that, right?
Finn: You're mine.

Rachel and Finn, Saturday Night Glee-ver


Ooh... I know what that is! Finn sends me cutesy text messages all the time. Usually they’re puns about my boobs, but I still appreciate the effort.

Rachel to Kurt, "Dance With Somebody"


Deep in space, there are giant interstellar clouds. Most of them just float through the universe, content to be balls of gas and space dust, but there are special ones. Maybe they collide with a supernova or are just made up of something extra amazing. But one day, they just get too big for the nebulas they're in, and with the sheer gravitational force of their awesomeness, they become a star! I am that amazing cloud. My whole life has led to this moment.

Rachel, Choke


I have some simple rules when I'm getting ready for a big performance. First, no milk. Makes you too phlegmy. Second, no doorknobs. They spread infections. So do kisses. So what if I have some superstitions, too. I never step on cracks and sometimes I walk backwards. And everyone I see becomes a metaphor for the things that could stop me. I just give each one my gold star death stare. None of them stand a chance.

Rachel, Choke


You are a star, Rachel Berry. And in just two days from now, you are going to shine so bright on that stage that the sun is gonna cry with envy. You know when your time is and it's now.

Rachel to Herself, Choke


Next to my wedding, my prom dress will be the most important gown I’ll ever wear.

Rachel, Prom-asaurus


Is this some kind of joke or something? I mean, like Kurt last year? Is someone gonna throw pigs' blood on me next like in Carrie?

Rachel to Finn, ,Prom-asaurus


I want you to know that you are being heard, which is why I’m willing to offer you $50 dollars to let this all go until after Nationals.

Rachel to Tina, Props


Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be me? Do you have a Facebook account or a Twitter account? Do you have time to watch Bravo or read a book or buy laces for your incredibly high comical boots? I don’t. It’s exhausting being me.

Rachel to Tina, Props


In a sea full of kids who are just desperately clinging to their own kind, we’re different. We took the time to get to know each other and reach out and accept one another. That’s our unique factor. And that’s what I love about us.

Rachel to Finn about New Directions, Props


When I first met you I was just an annoying Jewish girl with two gay dads and a very big dream. Today I still have two dads and I’m still Jewish and I’m probably just as annoying, but I stand before you headed to New York City come hell or high water, and I can honestly say that I couldn’t have done it without you.

Rachel to Will, Nationals

Season Four

I kind of feel like i'm just gonna throw up all the time.

Rachel to Brody, The New Rachel


Kurt: What's wrong? You sound sad.
Rachel: I lied. I'm not okay. I miss you, and I miss everything. My dance teacher's a monster, and I can't even go to my dorm room, because my roommate is sleeping with the entire school.
Kurt: Maybe you should move out and find a new roommate?
Rachel: (scoffs) Yeah.
Kurt: Turn around.
Rachel: (turns around) (runs to Kurt) (hugs him)

Kurt and Rachel (on the phone), The New Rachel


Rachel: New York Domino's are sooooo much better than Lima Domino's.
Kurt: It's the water.

Rachel and Kurt, Britney 2.0


Rachel: So have you heard from Finn at all?
Kurt: Not since you asked me yesterday.

Rachel and Kurt, Britney 2.0


I do have what it takes to be sexy, sexy enough to play Evita, Roxy and Charity.

Rachel to Cassandra July, Britney 2.0


What do you think? Am I being too obvious?

Rachel to Kurt about her painting of Finn's name on the wall., Britney 2.0


Kurt: Your freedom is a gift he's given you, accept it.
Rachel: I know, it's just so much freedom all at once that it's starting to feel like severe loneliness.

Kurt and Rachel about Finn, Britney 2.0


Kurt: The only cure to loneliness... is cake.
Rachel: *gasps* *mouths cake*

Rachel and Kurt, Britney 2.0


Brody: Wow, you're smokin'.
Rachel: It's actually the duck.
Brody: No, it's...it's you.

Rachel and Brody, Makeover


Rachel: Yeah, I would've just come here first, if you would've picked up your phone or answered my text messages. Instead I had to get on a plane and drive around town, LOOKING for you like an idiot!
Finn: I just needed time to think.
Rachel: You had FOUR months! I hated you for what you did to me at that train station!
Finn: I was just trying to help-
Rachel: I HATED YOU! But when I got to New York, I thought.. how much you loved me.. and how HARD that must've been for you! And I thought... THIS.... THIS is what a MAN looks like. This is how a man LOVES. But you, not telling me where you were for FOUR MONTHS, and sneaking up before sunrise in the middle of the night without saying hi, that is NOT being a man, Finn!
Finn: I'm trying to give you your freedom!
Rachel: I DON'T NEED YOU TO GIVE ME MY FREEDOM. I AM A GROWN WOMAN. I DON'T NEED YOU TO HIDE FROM ME, TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME.
Finn: Like that Brody guy?
Rachel: I didn't DO Brody, okay? And don't you think that I'd rather have been with you!
Finn:But didn't you say that he was on Broadway? He has like 3% body fat? WHO AM I? I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely NO direction.
Rachel: Don't you get it? No matter how rich or...famous.... or successful I become, when it comes to you...I'm.. I'm always gonna be that moon-eyed girl who... freaked you out on that first Glee rehearsal... You were the first boy who made ME feel LOVED... and sexy...a-and visible... You are my first love...and I want more than anything for you to be my last.But I can't do this anymore. At least not now. We're done.
Finn: Wow... What am I gonna do with my life..I-I don't have my girl, I don't have a job and I don't have a place in this world...
Rachel: You have you! And that's better than anyone else on the planet as far as I'm concerned. *kisses Finn*

Rachel and Finn, The Break-Up


Kurt: You okay?¨
Rachel: I just want to go home.
Kurt: I thought this was home.¨
Rachel: It doesn't feel like it anymore.

Kurt and Rachel, Glease


Rachel: I feel like every time we go home it just makes me feel sad and like we're not moving forward, you know? And even though we don't still have our boyfriends we have our dreams. And our ambition.
Kurt: And each other.
Rachel: Right! You are the only significant other that I need in my life.

Rachel and Kurt, Thanksgiving


If you do show choir in college you might as well be doomed to a life of playing a dancing teapot at Disneyland.

Rachel to Kurt, Sadie Hawkins


That's what all great artists do. They expose themselves.

Rachel, Naked


Rachel: Okay, wait. Why...Why am I even taking advice from you, okay. Didn't you have a sex tape that leaked online.
Santana: Yes I did. A sex-tape that follows me around to this very day.Look up at my in the internet right now.
Rachel: (reading from phone) Santana Lopez- Nude, lez, boobies, sex tape, Mexican or Dominican, Question mark.
Santana: Booyah and that will exist forever.

Santana and Rachel in Naked


Finn: Where have you been? I asked you to come, like, an hour ago?
Rachel: I was getting a spray tan.

Finn and Rachel, I Do


Are you telling me that you want to be a gardener?

Rachel to Finn, I Do


Hello, gorgeous.

Rachel to herself, Sweet Dreams

Season Five

My whole life I've been looking to be a part of something special, to feel special, but the truth is that I am special.

Rachel, Tina in the Sky with Diamonds


Nobody treat me with kid gloves, okay? I don't know what to say, either. I loved Finn, and... he loved me, and he loved all of you guys. I know he did.

Rachel to New Directions and Will, The Quarterback


Rachel:I talked to him a lot. I can still see his face and I can hear his voice so clearly... Do you think that I'll ever forget it? Because I'm afraid that one day I will.
Will: What do you talk to him about?
Rachel: Anything. I mean when we were dating it was pretty much me talking al the time, and him just pretending to listen. So, it's really not that different.

Rachel, The Quarterback


Rachel: I had it all planned out. I was gonna make it big on Broadway and maybe make a Woody Allen movie. And then when we were ready, I would just, come back and he'd be teaching here and I'd walk through those doors and I would just say 'I'm home' and then we would live happily ever after.
Will: That's a good plan. Did you tell him?
Rachel: I didn't have to, he knew.
Will: And now what?
Rachel: I don't know something different.
Will: Maybe something better.
Rachel: I just-I don't think that's possible. He was my person.

Rachel, The Quarterback


He was smart, just in, you know, in an untraditional kind of way.

Rachel to Will about Finn, The Quarterback


What I love the most about you is that you don't try to do or be what anyone else is doing, ok? You make your own path.

Rachel to Kurt, A Katy or A Gaga


Rachel: Do you remember in high school how everything felt so urgent? Like if we didn't just go for it, we'd lose our chance forever?
Kurt: Yes. It was very stressful.
Rachel: I want to feel that way again.
Kurt: Does this have anything to do with Finn?
Rachel: You know, if part of my grieving process is just diving headfirst into life, then...maybe.

Rachel to Kurt, The End of Twerk


You and I have just been pretending to be friends ever since we did that stupid number in the choir room after graduation, all happy and supportive. But it's all crap! Because you and I have never been friends. Never have and never will be!

Rachel to Santana, Frenemies


[Mr. Schuester] loved and looked after every one of us with as much as care and concern as he does for you. We love your dad. We love him very, very much and no matter where we are or what we're doing, he's with us because we have his name tattooed in our hearts.

Rachel to Daniel in Mr. Schuester's video, New Directions


TAXI! TAXI! Hey!

Rachel, New New York


Mercedes: Rachel, you know you guys weren't dating when it all went down, though.
Rachel: No, come on, we were always dating. You know, even when we weren't. We knew how it was gonna end. Or, you know, how it was supposed to.

Rachel and Mercedes about the Rachel-Finn Relationship, Tested


(Reading) "Hello gorgeous. Fanny Brice was my most cherished role. But I can't stay in style forever. Now it's your turn. Barbra." (Smiling) ...You of all people should know that Barbra dropped the "A" when she was 18 years old as an act of rebellion. WHO WROTE THIS?! TINA?!

Rachel to Kurt, Opening Night


You made my life in high school a living hell. And it’s like you had a mission to keep us underwater, never coming up, even for a breath of air. And you said that it was to push us, but I really don’t think that’s what you wanted. If we actually felt how wonderful and amazing and loved we really were, then we wouldn’t know what you knew all along, which is that you are a rotten and awful person who only finds joy in people’s misery. Something amazing happened tonight. A group of friends rallied together and made a dream come true. And never, ever in your empty, sad life will you feel the kind of love that I felt tonight. I would feel so sad for you, but I don’t because I just want you to get the hell out of my apartment because I want to be with my friends.

Rachel to Sue, Opening Night

Season Six

Rachel: What am I supposed to do?
Lee Paulblatt: Do what everyone who just failed miserably does: Blame everyone else, and then go home.
Rachel: [To herself] I don't even know where that is anymore.

Rachel and Lee Paulblatt, Loser Like Me


I love you guys so much. You're gonna be the most amazing dads.

Rachel to Blaine and Kurt, Dreams Come True


Being a part of something special does not make you special. Something is special because you are a part of it.

Rachel, Dreams Come True

Archie Meets Glee

I've heard about stretching myself as a singer but I thought that meant stepping outside the Broadway songbook!

Rachel while in a time warp, Archie Meets Glee, Part One: When Worlds Collide


Archie: Is...Is everyone all right?
Rachel: Okay, yes, I'm amazing, and yes, I'm often transported by the sound of my own voice, but where am I? And where's Finn?
Quinn: You did not just make this all about yourself!

—Archie, Rachel and Quinn, Archie Meets Glee, Part One: When Worlds Collide


Archie: Did you say glee club?! Does that mean you can sing? 'Cause we have a battle-of-the-bands fast approaching!
Rachel: Can I sing? Did Patti LuPone win a Tony for Evita in 1979?

—Archie and Rachel, Archie Meets Glee, Part One: When Worlds Collide

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