|Season One, Episode Two|
|First Aired||September 9, 2009|
The Glee Club performs in front of the school for the first time and surprises everyone in the audience. When Rachel realizes her feelings for Finn, Quinn goes to great lengths to keep her at the time, man. Meanwhile, Will's wife, Terri, reveals some surprising news, leaving Will to figure out a new way to make ends meet. The title is a pun on the words show, referring to New Directions performing in front of the school, and romance, alluding to the different love triangles.
Will is driving into the school parking lot, his license plate reading GLEE. He passes by several of the Glee Club members who have all shown great enthusiasm since Don't Stop Believin'. All except Kurt, who is once again being tossed into a dumpster by Puck and his football lackies.
Emma hides behind a wall, waiting for Will to come by so she can "accidentally" bump into him. He thanks her for the advice she gave him and mentions that coaching Glee Club is wear he belongs. The two are interrupted by Santana, who tells them to get a room while Quinn tells Will that Sue would like to see him in her office. When Will enters Sue's office, she backhandedly mentions to Will that if New Directions does not place at Regionals, Principal Figgins will cut the program. Will tells her not to worry and says they'll be fine. Sue then informs Will that she was at the library and came across the Show Choir Rule Book. As it turns out, Will needs twelve members to compete in Sectionals. Sue offers Will a list of students in the Special Education department that would be interested in joining New Directions, because she feels that no one is going to want to join Will's "Island of Misfit Toys." She warms him to "euthanize" the Glee Club, but Will does not back down and confidently says that New Directions will show at Regionals.
Rachel is at her locker, listening in on Quinn complaining to Finn about him being in Glee Club and mentions that he is risking her popularity just so he can express himself. Finn tells her she is making too big of a deal out of this, and Quinn offers to let him touch her breast (under the shirt, over the bra) if he quits Glee Club. Finn declines, much to Quinn's dismay, and he leaves for class. Quinn then catches Rachel eavesdropping and tells her that she will never have Finn. Rachel then counters that she is an honorable person and every day, her status in Glee Club is going up while Quinn's status as head cheerleader is going down. Immediately after, she is hit in the face by two slushies, compliments of Puck and his friend.
The Glee Club is practicing Le Freak in the choir room, which does not go very well. The students complain that the song selection is terrible, with Kurt deeming it "really gay." Artie suggests that they sing more modern music, but Will dismisses this and tells them that they need to sing this at their school assembly so they can attract more people to join Glee Club.
Will and Terri are with their realtor to find their dream home. Will mentions in a voice-over that all this started after a dinner with Terri's sister, Kendra, Kendra's husband Phil, and their unruly children. When Kendra asks where they're going to put the baby's crib, Will suggests Terri's craft room, to which Kendra tells Terri to not give it up as it'll keep her from going "Susan Smith" on her baby. Kendra then tells her to buy a house in her subdivision, as she will not allow her niece or nephew to be brought back to Will's apartment. While searching through a house that Terri loves, Will learns that the price is way too high. Terri shows him a little girl's room where their daughter or gay son would sleep. She tells him that she was hoping that Will could put in a piano and on shows with their baby, which hits Will's sweet spot. Will is hesitant, but with a little more of Terri's manipulation, he agrees to sign the papers, much to Terri's delight.
Kurt and Mercedes are having a friendly spat while Rachel watches Finn tie his shoes from afar when Will enters the choir room with some sheet music from a Kanye West song. The kids get excited, but are disappointed that it won't be for the assembly and would still perform disco. Artie tells Will that they really don't want to do disco, but Will ignores him and instead tells Finn that he'll be on lead. Finn declines, saying he's still learning how to walk and sing at the same time, so Will offers to step in his place. Mercedes, Will, and Artie lead Gold Digger as a cutaway scene is shown of Terri and Kendra taking measurements of the new house Will and Terri are planning to buy.
Emma catches Rachel attempting to throw up in the girl's bathroom and asks her to join her in her office for a little chat. Emma hands Rachel a pamphlet about overcoming bulimia and then informs her the dangers of the disease. Rachel tells her that she tried it and failed and would never do it again. When Emma asks her what led up to her doing that, Rachel mentions that she wants to be thinner and prettier like Quinn. She then asks Emma if she ever locked herself in a room, turned on sad music and cry, to which Emma answers no. However, in cutaway scene, we see Emma crying and singing along to Eric Carmen's All by Myself. Emma then talks about crushes and tells Rachel to protect her heart. She then asks Rachel if she's ever talked to the boy she likes, but Rachel answers that he doesn't notice her. Emma advises her to find some common ground and show him a side of Rachel that he wouldn't have expected, to which Rachel smiles and nods in agreement.
Sue brings Will, Rachel, and Finn into Principal Figgins' office after she caught Rachel and Finn printing out posters using the copy machine that is specifically used for the Cheerios. Sue demands punishment but Will offers a compromise that they simply pay for the photo copies and Figgins lets them off with a warning, much to Sue's chagrin. Figgins also orders Sue to clean up the mess she made after catching the two Glee Club members. Finn apologizes to Will, but Rachel informs him that she'd like the fliers up before lunch. Will says doesn't want to hear it and tells her that they're still singing Le Freak. Rachel tells him that Glee Club will kill any chance the Glee Club has, but Will still does not listen and tells her that sometimes they have to do things they don't want to do. Finn blanches that he'll be dead after the assembly, but Rachel reassures him that he is talented. She then offers to practice for the assembly at her house, but he declines, saying he has a Celibacy Club meeting.
Will and Terri are bathing together and he informs her that he has bad news. He says he's having trouble finding a second job, which upsets Terri. Will tries to comfort her but Terri angrily tells him that she wants her dream home. She gets out of the tub and asks when will they catch a break before leaving. Later, Will finds Figgins cleaning up the smoothie mess that Sue was supposed to clean but tells him that Sue got a note from the school nurse saying that her lupus prevents her from bending over. An idea popping into his head, Will offers to take one of the janitorial positions at half salary, which Figgins happily agrees to.
At the Celibacy Club meeting, Quinn begrudgingly allows Rachel to join the club and introduces her to the Cheerios. Rachel asks where the boys are, in which Quinn tells her that they are in the other room and that they'll join together after a half hour to share their faith. In the next room, the football team, including Finn and Puck, are sitting around, looking very bored, and a nerdy student, Jacob Ben Israel, talks about his uncontrollable hormones. Puck then makes a lewd comment about Santana and we cut to Santana twirling in her Cheerios skirt. Quinn comments, "God Bless the perv who invented these," and laughs with the girls that it's "all about the teasing, and not about the pleasing," while Rachel, alone, looks on. A football player asks Finn how far Quinn lets him get and Finn answers that they grind when they make out. Jacob then asks how he keeps from "ejaculation arriving early" and Finn comments that it's not a problem for him.
In a voice-over, Finn reveals that it is actually a problem and that the only image that helps him from ejaculating prematurely is a memory of him learning how to drive with his mother and subsequently hitting a mailman. Back to Celibacy Club, Quinn is blowing up balloons for the guys and girls to put between them while they grind against each other and reminds them that the popping "makes the angels cry." Rachel is paired with an eager Jacob, much to her disgust, and Finn accidentally pops the balloon. Rachel then blurts out that this method is ridiculous and says that celibacy doesn't work in high school. She also mentions that the way to tackle their hormones is to be prepared and use contraception. This enrages Quinn, who warns her not to use the "C" word, and Rachel tells everyone that girls want sex just as much as guys do. She then storms off.
Emma finds Will scraping gum from under the desk and Will tries to deny that he's a janitor. He tells Emma that he's struggling to make ends meet and he's really embarrassed and asks her not to tell anyone. She tells him that she won't say a word and offers her assistance. Will initially declines, but Emma's efficient cleaning skills impress him. While cleaning, Emma mentions that he admires Will getting a second job. Will then tells her that he wants to help her with her problem, since she's been so helpful to him. Emma denies that she has one, but Will looks at her knowingly and Emma reveals that she developed her OCD when she was a little girl and visited a dairy farm where her brother pushed her into the run-off lagoon. Will then puts some chalk dust on his thumb and rubs it on Emma's nose, to help her overcome her OCD. He rubs it off her nose after ten seconds and Emma says it's a new record. She then says that she has to leave and exits the room. From outside the classroom, Ken is watching them with a hint of jealousy.
Rachel calls a Glee Club meeting in the gymnasium and proposes that they change the song by giving the school what they want: sex. Later at the school assembly, Will makes a speech that the Glee Club needs recruits and then introduces the New Directions. The New Directions come out and perform a very provocative performance of Salt-N-Pepa's Push It. While Emma and Figgins get into the performance, Will and Sue look on with disappointment and shock, respectively.
Will is brought into Figgins' office with Sue and Will learns that parents have complained over the performance. Sue demands for Will to resign from the school and for Glee Club to disband. Figgins, however, disagrees because he feels the kids are talented and had never seen the student body so excited since Tiffany performed at the North Hills Mall. He gives Will a list of pre-approved songs that are family-friendly and that reflect the community's values, which are basically songs with either "Jesus" or "balloons" in the title. Figgins says that he's cutting the Cheerios' dry-cleaning budget to pay for new costumes for Glee Club, which angers Sue.
Rachel tries to apologize to Will, but he angrily tells her that she may have ruined the Glee Club's chances for new members and gives her the pre-approved song list. Will says he understands why she did what she did, but says he didn't like the way she did it.
Emma is eating her lunch in the teacher's lounge when Ken comes by with a ticket to a tulip festival, but Emma declines, citing asthma. Ken asks her why she's chasing a married guy. He then tells her that she shouldn't be the rebounder and mentions that he is a good man and he'll treat her right. He says that she could do a lot worse and she won't get much better than him in this town. He then leaves her in her thoughts.
Rachel and Finn are practicing in the auditorium and they decide to take a break from practicing. Rachel reveals that she has set up a picnic for the two of them for lunch. Rachel asks him why he came to her for help for his singing and Finn mentions he wants to be good because she's good. Finn tells her that he thought she was crazy but then heard her sing and says that it touched something inside his heart. He tells her that she's cool and Rachel offers him a virgin Cosmopolitan. They make a toast and Finn rubs some of the juice off her lip. Rachel tells him that he can kiss her if he wants to and he says he wants to. He gets on top of her and they start to kiss. Suddenly, Finn starts to ejaculate prematurely and says he has to leave.
Terri is at the gynecologist's office where she is getting her first sonogram and the doctor informs her that she is having a hysterical pregnancy, leaving Terri in shock.
Will is in the choir room with Quinn, Santana and another Cheerio, Brittany Pierce, who have all come to audition for the New Directions. Will is suspicious but Quinn tells him that since Finn is in Glee Club that she wants to join to show that she is a good girlfriend. Will then allows them to audition and they sing a tongue-in-cheek rendition of I Say a Little Prayer. Sue confronts Quinn, Santana, and Brittany for joining the Glee Club and Quinn tells her that she is worried that something is going on between Rachel and Finn, and begs Sue not to kick them off the Cheerios. Sue then tells her that Quinn reminds her of a younger version of herself (without the bone structure) and Sue then tells her that she's going to make them her spies to help take down the Glee Club, which the girls happily agree to.
Emma is cleaning a water fountain and Will comes by and asks if she wants to join him for another cleaning session. Emma declines and tells him that she's going to Tuli-palooza with Ken. She then leaves him disappointed.
Will goes home to find that Terri has cooked for him and he gratefully mentions that family is important to him. Terri tells him that she went to the gynecologist and impulsively lies to him that they're having a boy. She then tells Will to quit his second job and turn her craft room into the baby's nursery. She tells him that the only project he wants him to work on is their message and they hug it out.
At school, Will tells Rachel that he is giving Quinn the solo because of her deception, leaving Rachel disappointed. Rachel says that he's punishing her, but Will counters that things aren't always about her. He also says that he screwed up as well because he should've never pushed disco so hard. He says that glee is supposed to be about having fun. He tells her that she's not always going to be the star. Rachel asks if she can use the auditorium to practice since her neighbors are filing a lawsuit for her excessive singing, and Will agrees.
|Song Title||Original Artist||Performer(s)|
|Gold Digger||Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx||Will Schuester and New Directions|
|Push It||Salt-n-Pepa||New Directions|
|I Say a Little Prayer||Dionne Warwick||Quinn Fabray with Brittany Pierce|
and Santana Lopez
|Take a Bow||Rihanna||Rachel Berry with Mercedes Jones|
and Tina Cohen-Chang
- Ain't That a Kick in the Head by Zoom Karaoke in the style of Dean Martin.
- Looking Back by Kerry Muzzey.
- Ben Bledsoe as Hank Saunders
- Patrick Gallagher as Ken Tanaka
- Iqbal Theba as Principal Figgins
- Jennifer Aspen as Kendra Giardi
- Romy Rosemont as Carole Hudson
- Naya Rivera as Santana Lopez
- Heather Morris as Brittany Pierce
- Kenneth Choi as Dr. Wu
- Valorie Hubbard as Peggy
- Michael Loeffelholz as Phil Giardi
- Josh Sussman as Jacob Ben Israel
- Ethan, Aidan, and Ben Freedman as Giardi triplets
- Jacob Hashem as Amir
- Heather Morris was originally hired as the choreographer for the show, but was so well-liked by the producers, they wrote the character Brittany just for her that same day.
- The line "When pigs fly!" was ad-libbed by Jennifer Aspen.
- Emma reveals that she developed her OCD when she was five, when her brother pushed her into the waste dump of a dairy factory. However, in Asian F, a flashback shows that she developed her OCD as a toddler when her mother forced her to clean her glass.
- Quinn mentions to Will that he should know that her and Finn were dating from the school newspaper. However, in Rumours, Terri says that the school newspaper was discontinued two years previous, a year before the events of Showmance.
- The glasses that Jacob Ben Israel wears don't have any lenses in them.
- When talking to Will, Sue implies that she euthanized her mother. However, her mother is introduced in Furt, and is very much alive.
Rachel: You're so chivalrous.
Kurt: One day, you will all work for me.
Terri: This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep.
Rachel: I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.
Sue: Lady Justice wept today.
Quinn: Remember the power motto, girls.
Rachel: Because we're gonna give them what they want.
Sue: That was the most offensive thing I've seen in twenty years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of Hair.
Dr. Wu: There's no baby.
Quinn: Something is going on between Finn and that thing! You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes!