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Tested

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This article is about the episode. You may be looking for the EP of the same name.
Tested
Season Five, Episode Sixteen
Tested still 2
First Aired April 15, 2014
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Tested is the sixteenth episode of Glee's fifth season and the hundred and fourth episode overall. The episode aired on April 15, 2014.

Blaine discovers his newfound love of cronuts has the side-effect of weight gain - the "Freshman Fifteen.” Combined with witnessing a more self-confident Kurt rapidly rising at NYADA, Blaine begins to suffer a crisis in confidence. As Artie enjoys a success with the ladies at Film School, he is quick to avail himself of all opportunities presented him. However, he soon discovers that his Casanova ways comes with a price. As roommates Sam and Mercedes explore being a couple, she confesses that she is still a virgin and is not sure when she will be ready for them to make love for the first time.

The episode was written by Russel Friend and Garrett Lerner and directed by Paul McCrane.

Plot

Kurt, Blaine, Sam and Artie appear as ratings in a World War 2 style newsreel explaining the risks of STD’s,
5x16commercial
blissfully ignorant of the dangers that they pose to them.

In New York, Blaine relishes the wide range of international cuisine that is available to him in the city. While gorging himself on his personal favourite - the cronut - he realises that he may be gaining ‘the Freshman 15’ - a student’s significant weight gain in the first year of college.

Tested stills (2)
At film school, Artie is enjoying his newfound popularity. He has begun to date multiple girls, all of whom think that Artie is an artistic genius. However, he sets his heart on one girl - Julie, who he resolves to start dating. While recording her voice-over for one of his films, Artie begins to sing Addicted to Love. After the performance, he asks Julie out, but she explains that she doesn’t date people that she works with, leaving Artie surprised and disappointed.

In class at NYADA, Kurt shows off his recently formed muscles to his classmates, reflecting that he may have finally hit puberty. Blaine watches jealously, aggressively eating cheese puffs. He reflects that he isn’t used to seeing Kurt as a sexual object, and isn’t really sure whether he’s comfortable with the idea.

At Mercedes’ apartment, Mercedes and Sam are making out. Sam wants to take it further, but Mercedes stops him. She reveals that she is a virgin, and that she doesn’t want to do anything until she knows that she should. Sam agrees, telling her that she can call the shots in their relationship. At the cafe, Sam asks Artie, Blaine and Kurt to help him find a sexual health clinic. He explains that he wants to make sure he has a clean bill of health before they go any further in their relationship. The guys are shocked that the two haven’t had sex yet, but offer to go on a ‘boys date’ to get themselves checked out.

ArtieSTD
After his STD test, Artie is called to the doctors. He is shocked to learn that he has tested positive for Chlamydia without showing any of the symptoms, and has possibly been spreading it to his multiple hookups. Back in the streets of New York, Artie imagines himself dressed as a giant STD. When he returns to the Bushwick Apartment, he tells the other boys about his disease. Sam is shocked and angry to learn that Artie doesn't use condoms, and begins to remonstrate with him. He is doubly angry when Artie reveals that he has been sleeping with two different girls, and begins to ‘slut shame’ him. Blaine insist that Artie tells both of them, reminding him that it’s the right thing to do.

At film school, one of Artie’s girlfriends takes the news very badly. As she shouts at him, he once again imagines himself as a big STD. When she storms off, he reluctantly goes in search of the second. She deals much better with the information, and says that she’ll just go to the free clinic that evening. Pleasantly surprised, Artie watches her walk off, but is surprised by Julie, who says that she has changed her mind, and agrees to go out with him. They arrange a date on the following night.

At church, Sam shows his clean bill of health to Mercedes. She is surprised by the gesture, and thanks him, but tells him that she is still unsure if going further is the right thing. She reveals that she is going to turn to God for guidance, and they enter the church together. Sam is initially bored by the service, but begins to enjoy it, and is surprised when Mercedes is invited to sing. She performs I Want to Know What Love Is.

Klaineconvo
Back at NYADA, Kurt is practicing fencing shirtless. He is proud of his new body, and glad that his “outside self is finally catching up to his inside self.” He reminds himself that he shouldn't forget Blaine, realising that their relationship is being tested. At the apartment that evening, he suggests that the two have a date night. Blaine happily accepts, and shows Kurt the large and heavy meal that he is cooking. Tentatively, Kurt suggests that they instead walk to see a movie and pick up a salad on the way. Somewhat surprised, Blaine agrees. As he opens the laptop to look for movie times, Kurt finds a pornographic page that Blaine has left open. Angrily, he wonders aloud why they haven’t been intimate in a week, theorising that this may be the cause. Blaine offers to talk about it with him, but Kurt angrily storms out.

At the apartment, Mercedes asks Rachel for advice on her first time. Rachel tells her that it will be special no matter what happens, but Mercedes is still unsure as to whether she is ready for it. Rachel tells her that if she feels like the time is right, then Sam will make her feel like she is the only one, as he is a good guy. Mercedes agrees, thoughtful.

LIAB
At the NYADA stage weaponry class, Kurt is still not talking to Blaine about the website. Blaine offers to talk about it again, but Kurt angrily replies that sometimes he feels like they talk too much. The duo sing Love is a Battlefield while practicing their stage combat. At the end of the performance, they begin to have a fencing match. Kurt wins easily, and Blaine walks away, angry.

At the Spotlight Diner, Sam has taken Mercedes on a date. Mercedes reminds him that the wining and dining won’t necessarily lead anywhere, but Sam insists that it’s just his way of telling her that he loves her. Julie and Artie arrive, and Kurt, who is waiting, greets them. Julie is impressed by the diner, but Artie is distracted by thoughts of his STD-ridden alter ego. Unable to concentrate, he begins to hear only the names of STDs in place of words, and awkwardly tells Julie that he doesn’t think that they should have sex for the next ten days. Julie is freaked out by the unusual request. Sam, Mercedes, Artie and Julie walk to Brooklyn Bridge Park and sing Let's Wait Awhile.

Julie Artie Mercedes Sam Tested
At her church, Mercedes prays for guidance. Later, she reveals to Sam that what he said at the diner meant a lot to her. However, she tells him that she needs to wait until she’s married to have sex. Sam is frustrated by her attitude, and tells her that he is a nineteen year old guy - he needs some time to think about it. Upset, Mercedes watches him leave.

Kurt returns to the apartment to find Blaine waiting for him. Blaine tells him that he feels like the whole balance has shifted - now that Kurt has become so confident, he doesn't really need him any more. He tells him that he doesn't like how he feels about himself any more, and reveals that he is jealous of Kurt’s new body. Kurt, angry at Blaine’s apparent need to protect him, tells him that maybe living together will have to be, to some extent, a competition - but that he’s happy to run it with him, as equals, rather than against him. Upset, Blaine agrees, apologizing for his behaviour. Kurt tells him that next time they go through something like this they have to be honest with each other, and they share a hug.

Samcedes Candlelit
At film school, Artie apologises to Julie for his behaviour at the diner. He comes clean about his Chlamydia. Julie is surprised that he would sleep with two of the most stupid girls at the school, and angrily tells him that he’s a creeper, before walking away. Mercedes returns to her apartment to find that it has been filled with candles. She finds Sam waiting for her. He tells her that he can live without sex, but he can’t live without her. Smitten, Mercedes begins to say something, but he kisses her before she can finish the sentence. The next morning, Mercedes and Rachel are at the Bushwick apartment. Mercedes thanks Rachel for the advice, and asks if she has met anyone herself. Rachel says that she is closed for business, and needs some more time before she is ready to start seeing people again.

Back at the cafe, Blaine reveals a new diet that he has put himself on. He and Kurt have resolved to start eating more healthily. Artie is upset that Julie has left him, and Sam reflects that if something is important enough, you can’t let anything else get in the way of it. He brightly suggests that the group should start an all-guys New York City abstinence club, but the others flatly refuse.

Songs

Song Title Original Artist Performer(s)
Addicted to Love Robert Palmer Artie Abrams
I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner Mercedes Jones with Church Choir
Love Is a Battlefield Pat Benatar Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel
Let's Wait Awhile Janet Jackson Artie Abrams and Mercedes Jones
with Julie and Sam Evans
  • Tested, is an EP accompanying the music of the episode.

Guest Cast

Guest Stars

Co-Stars

  • Daniel Amerman as T.A.
  • Keaton Savage as Film School Dude
  • Craig Henningsen as Stage Combat Partner
  • Johnny Skourtis as Aristotle

Absent Cast Members

Trivia

Errors

  • When the boys are in the restaurant, Sam gets his frozen hot chocolate drink before Kurt. Yet right after, the waitress hands Sam his drink after Kurt's.
  • Blaine tells Kurt that he asked him to move out when in fact Blaine brought up the idea to Kurt in New New York.
  • Right at the end when Artie orders his huge dessert, the boys are talking and Artie eats the cherry on the sundae, a moment later the cherry suddenly reappears on top of the sundae.

Quotes

In order to give you everything, I have to make sure I don't...give you anything.

Sam Evans to Mercedes Jones

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