Tina's Quotations are the quotations made by Tina Cohen-Chang, portrayed by Jenna Ushkowitz.
Season One[]
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We're d-d-doomed. |
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It's Kurt — he's lady fabulous. |
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All this baby drama is making my rosacea act up. |
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They give their dancers human growth hormones. |
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—Tina (about Vocal Adrenaline), Hell-O |
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My eyes, are up here! I am a person with feelings, get out of my grill! I am a powerful woman, and my growing feminism will cut you in half like the righteous blade of equality! |
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—Tina and Kurt, Theatricality |
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I love wearing champagne bubbles — I get to express a whole different side of myself. Because even though I'm painfully shy and obsessed with death, I'm a really effervescent person. |
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—Tina to Kurt, Theatricality |
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My parents won't even let me watch Twilight. My mom says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch. |
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I think he thinks vampires are real. |
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—Tina to Will Schuester about Principal Figgins, Theatricality |
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I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian. |
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I refuse to dress like somebody I'm not to be somebody I'm not! |
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—Tina and Kurt, Theatricality |
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I'm sorry, it's just you know how many Facebook friends I had before Glee? Two! My parents. |
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(At the beginning of this year....) |
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—Tina to Will Schuester, Journey |
Season Two[]
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(Tina and Mike walk away holding hands) |
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She's an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold on to her power. |
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Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs. |
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Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him. |
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—Tina about Christopher Cross, Britney/Brittany |
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Last week, we were too sexy, this week, we're too religious — we can't win! |
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I'm not saying that steamed pork knuckles aren't delicious. |
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All I want is a normal salad that DOESN'T HAVE CHICKEN FEET IN IT! |
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You could be my very own Situasian. |
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—Tina to Mike, Never Been Kissed |
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I take it we have a lot of sweater trades to look forward to this season? |
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—Tina to Kurt, Never Been Kissed |
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—Tina and Mike after he sees Artie mad at Brittany, Special Education |
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—Tina and Finn, Special Education |
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When does the Asian Santa arrive? |
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—Tina to Santa, A Very Glee Christmas |
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—Tina to Santana, Silly Love Songs |
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I'm so overcome with love! I love you Mike Chang! |
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—Tina to Mike while singing My Funny Valentine, Silly Love Songs |
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I need to close my locker and it's gonna sound like a gun shot. |
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She called the Ohio Secretary of State saying she was me and that I wanted to legally change my name to Tina Cohen-Loser. |
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If I have no Asian sex symbols to look up to I guess I'll just have to be one myself. |
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Sorry Santana, I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself and I would never change a thing. |
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Your self hatred Rachel, has helped me see the light. |
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—Tina to Rachel, Born This Way |
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My new mantra is "be the change you want to see in the world." |
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Santana: And then, something funny happened. Something called love. (holds Dave's hand) Tina: I'm gonna barf. |
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—Tina and Santana, Born This Way |
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What do we know about Sam? What state he's from? Why he moved here? What school he went to? (pauses) Maybe he's a serial killer! |
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Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three. |
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—Tina before the New Directions perform Pure Imagination, Funeral |
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Getting a thumbs up from Kurt is like getting a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers. |
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—Tina about Kurt, Prom Queen |
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I want to go to Central Park; get my frolic on! |
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Season Three[]
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—Sue and Tina, The Purple Piano Project |
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Excuse me from gym all year or I'll drain your spicy, curry blood. |
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—Tina to Principal Figgins, Asian F |
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This is your chance to break out and show everybody that you're more than just a fleet-footed dance ninja. |
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You don't talk that much, you hardly ever sing, but when I see you do that, it's who you are. It's what makes me feel you. Mike, you gotta know by now, when I see you dance... it's why I fell in love with you. |
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I feel naked without Mercedes here with us. |
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Losing my virginity was a great experience for me. Because I was with someone I love. It happened in summer. Mike and I had talked about it for a while, because we knew that the first time was gonna be something we wanna remember forever. And when that moment came, we just knew. It was right, it wasn't rushed... It was amazing. He's my first love, and I'll always look back at that moment as absolutely perfect. No regrets |
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—Tina to Rachel, The First Time |
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Last Christmas was super sad. Kurt was at another school, Coach Sylvester trashed everything and Artie got a pair of magic legs that broke the next day. We were the Island of Misfit Toys. |
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—Tina about last year Christmas, Extraordinary Merry Christmas |
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I just want a song. |
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Excuse me, my foot fell asleep, can't feel it at all... can I walk it off? |
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Their part to make you look good. I've sat, for three years, in the back of that choir room, holding Mike's hand or crying or smiling and swaying, while everyone else was out there singing solos. Maybe I say something, most of the time I don't, team player all the way. I am tired of being silent. I am one of the original glee club members and I was singing Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat when Finn and Puck were still throwing slushies at us. So when is it my turn? |
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You're always so good in my musical numbers. Your oohs and aahs are always on pitch and your light sashaying makes my tour-de-force performances even more spine-tingling, if that’s even possible. |
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I can't believe how supportive you are when half the time I can't even be bothered to thank you for your tremendous supporting performances. |
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Tina: Ms. Tibideaux, I know exactly how you feel. Rachel Berry is a pain in the ass. What she wants, she gets. And I've spent a lot of time resenting her for it. But the fact is, she gets it because she's exceptional. Not just the voice, which is sick, but the focus, the drive. How often do you come across the real deal? |
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—Tina to Carmen Tibideaux, Props |
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It takes a lot of crystals to make something shine. |
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—Tina to the New Directions, Props |
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All I want, for one moment, to feel like you. Be up on that stage and get one of the standing ovations you're so used to getting. |
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Season Four[]
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Tina: Being popular felt too good. We forgot ourselves. |
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—Tina and Brittany to Marley, The New Rachel |
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Tina: Please tell me you’re gonna ask what one-third vintage meant last year. |
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—Tina and Sam to Mr. Schuester about the show choir rules, Makeover |
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[looking at the list of possible musicals] |
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—Wade and Tina, The Break-Up |
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Mike: I've been trying to see you since I got here, but every time I get near, you disappear. |
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—Mike and Tina outside her locker, The Role You Were Born to Play |
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Tina: Mr Schue. Finn cannot take over Glee Club. He doesn't know what he's doing at all. Sorry, Finn.¨ |
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Mike: This last week I've been thinking, maybe we shouldn't have broken up.Maybe it was premature.¨ |
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I persuade you to stop fighting immediately. |
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—Tina to Ryder and Jake, Dynamic Duets |
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Finn: We have to go to Sectionals next week and we need 12 members to compete. |
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—Tina to Finn, Dynamic Duets |
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Finn: Uh, well, as some of you guys might know, uh, recently Blaine has been going through a bit of the rough time... |
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—Finn and Tina about Blaine, Dynamic Duets |
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Becky is right, if I understood what she said correctly. |
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I was thinking heart boxers and a sexy Uncle Sam thing. |
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Blaine has an awesome body and a perky and delicious behind that looks like it got baked to perfection by some sort of master chef.. |
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Blaine: Why are you acting so pissed off? |
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Blaine: That seems a little… crazy. |
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Sue: Don't you call me a gangster. |
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And what are you here to lecture us about, Kurt? Our terrible taste in clothing? |
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—Tina to Kurt, Wonder-ful |
Season Five[]
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Are you crazy!? Are you insane? Good God! Have you lost your mind!? |
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—Tina to Blaine, Love Love Love |
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Well, it's hard to pick. Ryder has arms, and Blaine is my boo, but I think I'll go with Sam because he's the least gay and least asian of all of you and I'm looking to change my patterns, seriously though, Thank you guys, I really needed this. |
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This is my chance to be bigger than Jesus! |
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"JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! I swear. I just thought, for one, lousy night of my life, I could be THAT girl. But who am I kidding. I'm not that girl. And I will never be that girl." |
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Tina: I just don't know how much longer I can do this.
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NOOOOOO!! WHY!! God! |
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—Tina referring to Throat Explosion, A Katy or A Gaga |
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We're so screwed, they're not like Vocal Adrenaline, unfeeling barg robots, they're total outsiders and misfit which used to be our niche, we can't compete with Throat Explosion anymore on that level because we lost out biggest Gaga when Kurt graduated last year! Look around, we're a room of like Katy Perry's now. |
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Blaine: Tina! How could you?
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—Tina to New Directions referring to the porta-potty, The End of Twerk |
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Blaine: We need to win this! |
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—Tina and Blaine, Puppet Master |
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Blainy Days! Blainy Days wake up! We're sorry we didn't listen to you earlier! |
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—Puppet Tina to Puppet Blaine, Puppet Master |
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So if you're done being a puppet master do you think you could take your hand out for under my dress? |
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—Tina to Blaine, Puppet Master |