Sam: I don't see the big deal. He e-mailed me like 60 MP3's of him singing and I thought it was Faith Hill.

—Sam to Finn on his partnership with Kurt, "Duets"

Jesse: They did a funk number. We've never been able to pull off a funk number.

Giselle: Well, that's because we're soulless automatons.

Jesse: I'm so depressed.

—Jesse & Giselle from Vocal Adrenaline on New Direction's funk number, "Funk"

Rachel: I get now that, in order for this relationship to work, I have to, open up my hands and let you fly free.

Brittany: Finn can fly?

—Rachel to Finn (before performing "The Only Exception"), "Britney/Brittany"

I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany... bitch.

—Brittany S. Pierce, "Britney/Brittany"

Rachel: Kurt, why did you volunteer to give me a new look?

Kurt: One, I'm a sucker for makeovers. And two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most the time, I find it hard to be in the same room with you. Especially this one. Which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook-up.

—Rachel & Kurt in Rachel's bedroom, "Hairography"

Artie: Hey girl!

Tina: My eyes are up here! I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! I am a powerful woman and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a rightious blade of equality!

—Artie's memory of Tina going over the edge, "The Power of Madonna"

Mr. Schuester: Alright, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?

Brittany: He discovered America.

—Mr. Schuester & Brittany in the choir room, "Brittany/Britney"