Hi. I'm Lord Tubbington. I weigh near 30 pounds now... and oh yeah, I'm a girl. Brittany...you know. Anyway, there's a lot you don't know about me... I'm not just an ordinary cat. I graduated from college at age 16 months. My parents divorced when I was 18 months, which drove me onto a road of drugs and rock and roll. Now I'm 26, and I'm a born again Christian living in peace and harmony. Life is good...

Oh, I just heard Brittany come home. I have to go now.

Brittany enters her bedroom "Oh hi Lord Tubbington! How are you today?" she smiles.

Lord Tubbington walks to her litter tray and poops.

"Meow".